Hyperdimensional Adventures
by Zdood
Summary: Sort-of sequel to 'Warm Food.' Join Nep and co as they embark on zany adventures and cause general chaos. Looking for logic? Look elsewhere, dood. This thing takes a dump on the face of common sense. Also, expect yuri.
1. Pressing Start

ZDood Presents:

Hyperdimensional Adventures

AN: I IZ ALIVE! And back with a new story, doods- a (sort-of) sequel to my fic, 'Warm Food!' And it shall be glorious! Or something!

Warnings: YURI (well duh), also this fic may be a crack fic even by Neptunia standards. YOU HOFF BEAN WAHNED.

Enjoy, doods!

-XO[]/\-

Level 1- **Pressing Start**- begin

-XO[]/\-

Gamindustri… the land of – oh screw it, you probably already know if you're actually reading this fic, so let's skip the unnecessary intro.

Anyways, we find ourselves in a park in Planeptune, where a certain Neptune (with Iffy and Compa nearby) is jumping in joy. Or perhaps she was hopped up on sugar… wait, isn't she always hopped up on sugar?

"Iffy! Iffy! Zdood is writing another fanfic about us! And it's gonna be long! And not have OCs! And hopefully be updated semi-regularly! And-"

"I get it, Nep, you can stop now. Seriously though, wow, just wow. Barely even two lines into this thing and you've already horribly raped the fourth wall beyond all recognition. I see this fanfic is going to be an affront to all logical thought and sanity..."

"You betcha, dood!" exclaimed a random Prinny wearing shades, who totally isn't a blatantly obvious author avatar or self-insert or anything. Nope. Nothing to see here.

"…" said Iffy.

BOOT! "DOOOOD!" BOOM!

"…Now, where were we? Oh, right, kicking off the lack of plot."

"Iffy, we _totally_ need to have a get-together! All the goddesses an' party members an' junk, you know? We must have discussion nao! I'mma call mah Noirey now!" And Nep proceeded to take out her cell phone and do just that.

IF sighed somewhat irritably. "…Well, seeing as Nep already smashed the fourth wall to bits… what the hell. Hey, you. Yeah, you, the reader. If you haven't read this dunce of an author's previous Neptunia fanfic, go do it now. Because that fic is why Nep and Noire are dating."

"Um, Iffy, you could be a little nicer, you know…" said Compa, finally getting her first line of the fic, "I mean, the readers are the ones who give fics like this their success…"

"I know, I know, I'm just kind of annoyed at how quickly this thing degenerated into complete nonsense, is all."

"Um… how is that any different from our canon games?"

"…Point, but I'm pretty sure they still had vaguely more sense than this."

"OKIES, GUYS!" Nep shouted, "I just talked with Noirey and everyone else! TO THE BASILICOM! FOR TONIGHT, WE DINE IN HELL!" Then Nep ran off.

"THIS! _IS! __**PLANEPTUNE!**_ Also, I! _WANT! __**COOOOKIES!**_"

Iffy sighed again. She had a feeling she'd be doing that a lot in the near future. Well, either that or face palming. Or snarking. Or generally being the only remotely sane person in a sixty-three and nine-sevenths mile radius. The fact that the narrator and author are just as insane as everything else doesn't help."…Come on Compa, let's follow her. I'm pretty sure we'd violate a leash law or something if we don't keep track of Nep, anyway."

"Coming, Iffy!"

-XO[]/\-

In the Basilicom not too long later, pretty much everyone was gathered. Let's see… I spy Nisa, Gust, 5pb, the goddesses, the sisters…yep, everyone's here. One wonders if the author will be able to write dialogue for them all.

(Nah, I'm prolly too lazy, dood.)

…Didn't you get exploded?

(Yeah, but Underling broke my fall, dood.)

…Sure, why not?

-earlier-

"DOOOOD!"

"Huh? What the-"

BOOM!

-present-

…Moving along…

Neptune was jumping in excitement once again, giddy at talking about the upcoming fanfic with her fellow mental institution escapees-er, I mean, friends.

"Guys! We should totally spend this chapter planning out the fic!"

(…Hey, less work for me, dood.)

The more sane members of the party quickly came to approximately the same conclusion Iffy did. Namely, that this was gonna suck. Also, that this fic and its author are nuttier than a squirrel's secret stash.

Nepgear, for example, giggled nervously, while Blanc had a look of absolute deadpan on her face. Noire blushed at her girlfriend-of-several-weeks-now's behavior. One wonders if it's due to embarrassment or because she thinks it's cute, though…

"Wh-What! I-I do NOT think she's cute! N-Not at all!" (Sure, shout at the narrator, Noire, that'll help lots)

…Coming from one of the resident tsunderes, I think that answers that question. Moving on…

As for the less sane members…

"YES!" Nisa shouted, "An excellent idea, Lady Purple Heart! We should make story arcs wherein bad guys get thrashed for great justice!"

"Hmhmhm, this sounds like fun!" giggled Vert.

"Oh! Oh! Let's have an arc where me and Rom are the main characters!" shouted Ram.

"…An arc… about Miss Nepgear… and me?" suggested Rom, blushing lightly. Wait, shouldn't Rom be with the 'sane' group? Oh, whatever, this fic stopped making sense a long time ago… even though it's only the first chapter…

Nep's eyes lit up. "Oh! We should totally have an arc revolving around Iffy's harem battling for her love!"

Iffy, Vert, 5pb, Red, and Nepgear all blushed.

"WHAT!-?" came Iffy's indignant shout.

"Oh my…" Vert.

"U-um, uh…" 5pb.

"Goodness…" Guess.

"Yes please!" Again, guess.

"Or, or!" Nep began again, "How about an arc about _Nep Jr's_ harem!"

This time, Gear, Uni, Rom, and Iffy blushed.

"_WHAT!-?_" came the dual indignant shouts of Iffy and Uni.

"G-goodness! Um, again!"

"…(intense blush)…"

"And while we're at it, why don't we have an arc where Noirey and me have a baby?" Erm… remember how I said Nep and Noire had been dating for a few weeks? Well, remember how much of a hard worker Noire is? Let's just say she was quite successful in getting Nep to like her back in those weeks. Unless Nep had been screwing with her and actually liked her the whole time… you can never really tell with Nep.

"N-Neptune! Geez, do you really have to say things like that?-!" exclaimed Noire.

"Yuppers!"

"G-good grief…" Noire said with a tone somewhere between exasperation and affection.

"…Blunt as ever, I see, Neptune…" said Blanc, finally deciding to add her two wii points.

"Seriously, guys! There's just sooo many things we could do! I gotta write 'em down somewhere! Rammy, gimme that giant pencil of yours!"

"What! No way, get your own pencil!"

"Neptune, if you hurt my twerp of a sister…" Blanc.

"Oh, come on, pretty please with memes on top?"

"I said no!"

"Awww…" Nep became depressed for a moment before springing back up. "Ah, whatevs! We got the best way of keeping track of these things around anyway, and it ain't no pencil!"

"Then what is it, Nep-Nep?" This one should be obvious.

"Why, it's the author's twisted mind, o'course!"

"…Is that really a good thing?" asked Iffy.

"For ten bucks an hour, it can be, dood." Said the blatant, shades-wearing prinny author avatar that showed up out of nowhere again. "Also, chew on this: an arc about the various Neptunia universes merging, dood! Original, Mk2, Fanfic, maybe even the upcoming V!... dood!"

Nep's eyes began to sparkle as her mouth widened. Clearly, she found this to be an awesomesauce idea full of win.

"Ohmygoddess-OMIGAWD-OMG-AWESOMESAUCE!"

"Crap!" shouted Iffy, "you bastard! Why did you have to set her off?-!"

"'Tis called 'revenge,' dood, look it up."

"Revenge? I'll _show_ you _revenge_!"

BOOT! "DOOOOD!" BOOM!

"…Wait, so we're in another universe?" asked Compa.

"Well, this is fanfic, after all. Is alternate universe by default." Yay, Gust finally got a line!

Meanwhile Nep was motor-mouthing something fierce, "Andwecandothat-orthis-orsummathose-"

"Damn! Hey, narrator! Cut to the end of the chapter, will ya!" shouted Iffy.

"AND FOUR NOIREYS FOR THE PRICE OF ONE!"

…Erm, yes'm. I'm certainly not sticking around for Neptune's rambling. The author doesn't pay me enough.

(Dood, last I checked, I don't pay you at all.)

…Shut up. Alright, ending chapter…

"FO TIMES THE NEP, FO TIMES THE FUN!"

-Now.

-XO[]/\-

Level 1 end

-XO[]/\-

_Episode Preview:_

_Iffy: Wait, are we really having one?_

_Nisa: In the darkness of the night, where evil lurks behind every corner…_

_Iffy:…That'd be a no._

_Nisa: There is only one brave heroine who can bring forth the light…_

_Nep: Oh, oh! Is it Lara Croft? Samus Aran?_

_Nisa: It is, of course…_

_Nep: Is it Aerith?_

_Nisa: NISA! Gamindustri's Defender of Justice and Punisher of Evil!_

_Nep: Aw, I was gonna guess Terra next._

_Nisa: In the name of the console, I'll cave your face in, evildoers!_

_Iffy: (sighs) Goodie, just what we needed. Gag episode previews._

_Nisa: Next time, on Hyperdimension Nisa, "To the Detonating Moon! Prevent the Colony-Dropping Wave-Motion Gun, Brave Heroine!"_

_Iffy: Just wait, I'm sure Disgaea characters will start showing up here eventually._

_Nisa: In the name of justice, I'll see you next time, everyone!_

-XO[]/\-

AN:...Yeah, I really ran with the zaniness, didn't I? Also, for those that may be wondering, yes, I do frequent TvTropes.

Also, guess all the references if you dare, dood.

...And AWESOMESAUCE! Neptunia is getting another sequel- _Hyperdimension Neptunia V_ (for 'Victory')! And the weird thing is, it both is and isn't an AU. How? Well, it's not an AU because the Neptune from Mk2 is evidently the main character. It also is one though, because Mk2 Nep winds up in another dimension based on the 80s video game industry. One wonders if the game will have _two_ Neptunes as a result. 'Cuz that would be awesome, dood.

...Anyways, be sure to review, doods!


	2. Fixing a Glitch

Disclaimer: 'cuz I forgot it in the last chapter. You know the (giga) drill (break).

AN: ...What, the first chapter didn't implode your brain with ridiculousness, dood? Fine, here's the next chap, then. Enjoy, doods!

-XO[]/\-

Level 2 – **Fixing a Glitch** – begin

-XO[]/\-

"(sniffle)(hic) waaah… (sniffle)"

…Wow, what a pleasant thing to open a chapter with. Compa's crying in her room in the Planeptune Basili-why is this word so long-com. And why does she have a room in the Basiliwhatnow? Doesn't she have her own ho- oh, forget it…

"Iffy, why's Compa crying? It's getting me all downsies…" Nep asked the only sane woman.

"…If I'm not mistaken, I think it's because the author forgot to include her as a member of Gear and my… uh…"

"Harems?"

"N-NO! Uh, groupies! Yeah!"

"…So, you and Nep Jr.'s harems?"

"Argh, never mind, but yeah, I think that's the reason."

"Did he really forget?" Nep proceeded to check the last chapter. "Huh, what do you know, he did. Oopsies."

Suddenly, segway. With a certain blatant author avatar riding it.

"And now it's your job to fix this glitch, dood!" said the annoying shades-wearing prinny whose inglorious visage can be seen on my profile page.

"…the hell do you keep coming from? Also, that title drop was painfully forced." asked Iffy.

"The future, dood."

"That doesn't make any sense."

"Yugoslavia, dood."

"You live in the United States."

"Under your bed, dood."

"Creepy and scarily believable, but try again."

"I'M GOD, DOOD. I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT."

"Humanity's doomed. And either say something important, or get lost. The readers want to read about US, not YOU."

"Er…"

A moment of silence, and then the annoying prinny leaves.

"YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE LAST OF ME, DOOD!"

"I don't doubt that, unfortunately."

Suddenly Nep shouted, "Oh hey Zdood, look out for the pit!"

"Eh? Dood?" Suddenly a trapdoor opened under the annoying prinny.

(FALLING NOISE… the hell does a fall even sound like?)

"DOOOD!" BOOM!

"…Nep, why is there a trapdoor in your Basilicom?"

"Weeell, I was kinda bored, so I kinda had one installed. Kinda."

"(sigh) Knowing you, I'm not even going to question your insane logic, or lack thereof. Let's help Compa already." And into the proverbial rabbit hole the duo went, towards an epic adventure that would probably span three books of about 500 pages each.

"We're just going to comfort Compa." Iffy deadpanned.

"Uh, yeah. We're comforting a _girl_, Iffy. That takes a long time. An' I oughtta know, 'cuz I don't has guy plumbing, last I checked."

"…How offensive . Let's just get on with it already."

-XO[]/\-

_About an hour later…_

-XO[]/\-

"…How did we get ourselves into this?" Iffy asked herself, another deadpan expression present on her face, as she was now apparently on a three-way date with Compa and Gear. They were currently walking down some street in Planeptune, Iffy holding Compa's left arm, and Gear Compa's right. Compa was humming rather happily between them.

"Um, should I just say it or should we have a flashback?" asked Gear, looking a tad confused. She really didn't have any idea how she got here. Seriously, she wasn't even in the scene prior to the timeskip that the author did because he's a lazy bastard (and because if he actually wrote out an hour-long comforting session, you'd be reading this for _way_ too long).

"Eh, don't worry about it. The author can probably milk it more as a noodle incident, anyway…"

And right Iffy is! Now how to put this… it involved three boxes of tissues totally used for non-perverted reasons, some scissors, a ball of yarn, a panty shot, that depraved walrus mentioned in _Excel Saga_, and Neptune. Though that last one was probably a given.

"…I don't even know where Nep _got_ a walrus, but apparently she found one somewhere."

At about that moment, Compa decided to chime in, somewhat embarrassedly, "Um… sorry about all this, guys. It's probably really inconvenient, huh?"

Gear and Iffy shared a look for a moment, then Gear said, "Don't worry about it Compa. It really isn't an inconvenience at all."

"Eh, it's no problem." Iffy added.

"Iffy, Ge-ge, thank you…" Compa said gratefully, then added, " …um, wanna go to Cooking Mama's?"

"Sounds good to me." Said Iffy.

"Sure, Compa!" added Gear.

And so the trio headed off on their date, which was sure to have many a fluffy moment. And as they headed off into the sunset that was conveniently there to make everything more romantic, Compa thought to herself, '_Well, like grandpa always said, '__don't look a gift horse in the mouth, because it'll probably bite your face off.__'_

But where is the apparent instigator (i.e. Neptune) in all this, you may ask? Well… did anyone notice the lack of Gear and Iffy's other love interests stalking this trio on their date, like in some random harem anime?

Yeah, about that…

-XO[]/\-

And back with Neptune, who never fails to make things infinitely more amusing…

"ACK! Get awaaay!"

She was busy running from a group of angry (well, okay, maybe just annoyed) _haremius femininus_…

"C'mon, Neptune! Tell us where they went! I promise not to blow you into _too_ many smithereens if you do!"

Also known as the haremette. Like Uni, for example, who uttered the preceding line. She was also brandishing a rather large bazooka.

"Never!"

"Suit yourself."

And she fired it.

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

"Hah! You missed!" Nep danced around all the shots. LIKE A BOSS.

"Grr! I'm not done yet!"

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

"…Shouldn't we stop her?" asked a hesitant 5pb.

"Yeah… shouldn't we?" agreed Rom.

"Nah, this is more fun." Said Red.

"Indeed it is. Hmhmhm…" Vert giggled.

BOOM! BOOM!

"You'll never hit me! I've been playing Touhou on Lunatic difficulty! Mwahaha!" Nep taunted, laughing like a troll.

"Um, Neptune?..." asked Vert, suddenly gaining a vaguely nervous look.

"Eh? What?"

"You might want to watch your step."

"…Huh?" Nep had no idea what Vert meant.

…Well, until she ran over the edge of the cliff that she failed to notice, anyway. And proceeded to float there for a minute, adopting an 'Oh Crap!' expression.

"…Ah, crackers, I've been watching too many Wile E. Coyote cartoons, too."

And then she fell. I still don't know what would qualify as a 'falling noise,' though.

"AAAAH!"

Uni, Rom, Vert, 5pb, and Red watched.

"…Shouldn't we help her?" asked a concerned 5.

"Nah," said a decidedly unconcerned Uni, "She'll be fine. She'll just get amnesia for a while at worst. I mean, just look at our first two games. All that happens is that she gets stuck in the ground."

"AAA- This totally wouldn't have happened if Zdood had described the scenery better!-AAA-" SMACK! Nep slammed headfirst into the ground, and proceeded to get stuck.

"…Yeah, like that." Uni said, wincing slightly.

"I think she hit a coyote." Said Vert.

"Nice view!" Red gave two thumbs up at how Nep's hoodie dress fell, exposing her panties.

"Damn, looks like we won't get to follow them… N-not that I want to or anything, I'm just doing this for you guys." Said the very tsundere Uni. Who knew tsundere-ness could run in a family? If that's the case, I'd hate to meet the Narusegawa family… Naru was bad enough!

"…You might want to lay off the references, author. Not everyone is a massive otaku, you know." Scolded Uni.

"Never, dood!" shouted the annoying running gag in the making as he showed up out of nowhere again.

Everyone stared at him for a minute.

"Ack, dood?-!"

Then Uni grabbed him, stuffed him in her bazooka, and fired him into the distance.

BOOM! "DOOOD! I'M BLASTING OFF AGAIN!" (ping)

"…Now, where were we?" asked Uni, as if she didn't just comically murder an annoying prinny for the - what, fourth time? - in this story.

"Wondering… what to do?" said Rom.

"Oh, right. Not like we're gonna get Neptune to tell us where IF, Compa, and Nepgear are now, since she's kinda… indisposed." Said Uni.

"Can we look at yuri hentai on the Internep?" suggested take a wild guess.

"No." Uni shot Red down with a flat look.

"…How about we play games at my place?" suggested Vert.

The group of haremettes thought for a minute.

"Eh, sure." Agreed Uni.

"Mm-hm." Hummed Rom.

"Alright." Chirped 5.

"Okay!" exclaimed Red.

Vert smiled. "Then let's be off." And the group headed to Vert's Basilithingy. They could always win over their love interests later.

"…Can we play a yuri hentai ga-" asked you-know-who before being cut off by Uni.

"No."

"Awww…"

-XO[]/\-

…Wait, but what about Nep?

"Uh…guys? A little help? Hellooo… Pretty please? Guys?..."

…Eh, she'll be fine. Besides, being stuck in the ground builds character.

"Hm, maybe I should call Dig Dug…or maybe Drill Dozer? Kamina and Simon? Hm…"

-XO[]/\-

Level 2 end

-XO[]/\-

~Concept Art Corner~

Iffy: …Did you actually plan from the beginning to leave out Compa from the … _groups_…last chapter, just to write this chapter? Or did you just screw up and decide to roll with it instead of fixing your mistake?

Zdood: Whichever makes me sound cooler, dood.

Iffy:…So you screwed up.

Zdood: SHUT UP. I HAVE A VERY SMALL BRAIN, DOOD.

Iffy: Idiot.

Zdood: Also, shame on you doods for not noticing! SHAME!

Iffy: _Excuse me?_ YOU'RE supposed to do the proofreading of your story, not your readers!

Zdood: Ack, dood!

Iffy: Die.

Zdood: DOOOD!

(the rest has been censored for violence, language, terror, disturbing images, and some sexuality.)

(... don't ask.)

-XO[]/\-

_Episode Preview:_

_Nisa: Gasp! What's that, mayor?-! Planeptune is in trouble?-!_

_Iffy:…Here we go again…_

_Nep: Huh?-! Planeptune's in trouble?-! Oh no, my snacks!_

_Iffy: Nice to see you have your priorities straight…_

_Nisa: Never fear, the Underdogging Justicepuff Girls are here!_

_Iffy: Good grief, how many pointless references can the author fit in one chapter?_

_Nep: I dunno, but I think he just did a twofer reference!_

_Nisa: Nefarious Doctor Egghead, prepare to meet your end at the mighty fists of Nisa!_

_Nep: Whoop! Make that a three- no, a fourfer!_

_Nisa: Next time, on Hyperdimensional Justice Nisa, "The Mad Scientist with a Stock Freudian Excuse! The Nefarious Doctor Egghead's Xanatos Gambit of Doom!"_

_Iffy:… The author's just using these previews as a crappy excuse to mention random tropes by name, isn't he?_

_Nisa: Through fire, JUSTICE is served! Stay tuned, everyone!_

_Nep: Oh, a fivefer!_

-XO[]/\-

AN: ...Okay, seriously, if anyone can actually correctly name every single reference in this chapter, I will do two things. First, I will eat my socks, dood. Second, I might just do a chapter based on a request. MAYBE. Don't hold me to that, dood.

Also, more Neptunia V info! There aren't any Nep duplicates (as read from various sources and mentioned by a reviewer), sadly, but the new Pururut/ Iris Heart may be just as good, if not better. She's apparently an airhead in her human form (ten bucks says she becomes great friends with Nep), and a sadist in her hot-as-hell HDD form (fetish fuel, much?), dood. And she apparently carries around a Neptune plushie. You know, even though her universe doesn't have a Neptune. ... How does that even work, dood?

Also, the new villains, the Seven Sages, are looking pretty cool (not to mention amusing). Seriously, they've got everything from Arfy to a transsexual robot (no, really. Schler/Schlis name is apparently Anonedeath), dood!


	3. Critics, but not the Nostalgic Kind

Disclaimer: yadda, yadda, yadda…

AN: Hello, fan people! Are your brains still functioning properly? Not in an insane asylum yet, dood? ...I must be doing something wrong, then, dood. Oh well, lol. :)

Anyway, I suppose I'll answer a couple of you guys' questions, dood.

_Eyeshield:_ You got a good chunk of the references, dood... Though I suppose most of them were rather obvious, lol. The 'Underdogging' bit was in fact an _Underdog_ reference, yes... dood. My dad has that whole cartoon series on DVD, and I rather like it. Blame him, dood. 'Through fire, justice is served' is a fairly famous quote from the cult classic N64 game _Mischief Makers _(and was used in the first Neptunia too, actually). You missed a few, though - an _Excel Saga_ reference (the walrus. Ironic, considering it was written in plain view. I guess all the other references messed with your head, eh?), a _Love Hina_ reference (the Narusegawa family. Also a little ironic, since Uni lampshaded it), and a _Pokemon_ reference (Team Rocket. That is all). In any case, thanks for playing, dood. :)

_Neptunia and Disgaea fan:_ So far, yeah, Nisa is mostly for gag previews. I can't help it, dood, her personality is great for that kind of thing. She'll do other stuff later though, don't you worry, dood.

...Also, to _Some Random Tosser_ and _Disgaea Gamer_: Here's a light saber, an annoying orange, a nail bat, and a handgun that shoots chainsaws. Go nuts, dood (sits back with a bucket of popcorn).

_Hydrocity3_ and _Lord Val_, thank you for your support, dood. I shall reward you with more entertainment... and a couple of sardines for _Lord Val_.

Anyways, enjoy, doods!

-XO[]/\-

Level 3 – **Critics, but not the Nostalgic Kind - **begin

-XO[]/\-

We all know Blanc is a writer. We also know she sucks at writing worse than (insert hated author here – personally, I'm going with Stephanie Meyer for the obligatory _Twilight_ Take That. FAIRIES SPARKLE. NOT VAMPIRES.). And like any good crappy pieces of fiction, her stuff deserves a good riffing.

"Heeey, Rammy, Rommy!"

And courtesy of Nep, it looks like we'll get just that.

"So, didja guys get the goods?" the lovable ditz said, looking decidedly shifty.

"Geez, you act like we're doing something illegal…" said a slightly annoyed Ram, "And I hope you know what we had to go through to get this!"

"Dangerous…" whispered Rom.

Of course, the twins' worries were justified. If Blanc had found out they were copying her writings onto a thumb drive for the purpose of letting others riff on it, she'd flay them alive. And then crush Neptune like a grape.

"Yeah yeah, now the goods, pretty please?" said an impatient Nep.

"Our reward comes first!" said a just-as-impatient Ram.

"Okay, here: all my tastiest and bestest sweets. You gals drive a hard bargain, ya know?" The two sides exchanged prisoners… wait, wrong story – I meant goods.

"Well, yeah, 'cause this job was MAJOR dangerous. Sis is scary when she's mad. Heck, even the Hulk wouldn't like her when she's angry!"

"Oh yeah, totally," agreed Nep, "It's like she digivolves into Blanczillamon or something." Then Nep got a mischievous look in her eye. "Oh, and I've got a lil' something extra too, 'cause I'm just that awesomesauce."

Ram looked excited at the prospect of another reward. Rom looked interested as well.

"Oh, oh, what is it? What is it?"

"What… is it?"

And then, without the slightest bit of shame, "Weeell, I've got some NSFW pics of Nep Jr. here for ya if ya want 'em…"

Ram blanched. Rom blushed a red so deep mere words fail to describe how deep it was, for it was seriously just _that deep_.

"What?-! Ew, no! I mean, sure, I _do_ swing that way, who doesn't around here, but Nepgear? No!" exclaimed an indignant Ram.

"May I… see them?" said a blushing and highly embarrassed Rom.

Ram stared at Rom, somewhat horrified and inching away slightly.

"…I don't even _know_ you anymore. My quiet, sweet sister Rom is secretly a pervert? What is Gamindustri coming to! The 2012 apocalypse is starting early! SOMEONE FORCE ME TO DRINK BRAIN BLEACH!"

While Ram was busy freaking out about how her angelic, pure sister could possibly be a pervert, Nep just said, "Well, they do say it's always the quiet ones… anyways, here ya go, Rommy."

"Thanks…" said a still highly embarrassed Rom who had somehow found a way to blush even harder.

"NOSTRADAMUS WAS RIGHT! I mean, I don't even know who that is or what he was right about, but since sis is actually secretly a perv, I'm pretty sure he was right!" And Ram's brain is still doing a blue screen over Rom, I see….

"Uh… are you guys gonna be alright, Rommy?"

"We'll… be fine…. I think…."

"Oookay, I'll leave you guys to it, then. I've got a sporking to do."

And as Rom tried to calm Ram down, Nep left, thumb drive in hand, to initiate the main event of this chapter. And she doesn't plan on doing it alone, either. No one should be forced to read anything written by Blanc alone.

"I wonder if Noirey and Vert would wanna join me?"

-XO[]/\-

Gathered around Nep's computer in her Basilibuilding were… yeah, does it really need to be said? But in any case, they were awaiting, with baited breath, their group sporking of Blanc's hilariously bad writing. They steeled themselves for stomaching the material that would probably be so inedible, that it would cause indigestion even before stomaching it.

"Sooo… ready Noirey?" Nep asked.

"Naturally."

"Vert?"

"I believe so."

"Alrighty then, let's do this!" And with that, Nep brought a work of Blanc's onscreen, this particular one titled _The Grand Adventures of Lady Queen Shirayukihimesamakami the Heartful and Magnificent and her Elegant and Beautiful Axe of Total Ragnapocalypse and Armegiddo._

…

…

… Goddess, I already need a freaking drink….

-XO[]/\-

_Lady Queen Shirayukihimesamakami the Heartful and Magnificent was a great and very benevolent queen._

Nep: I smell a Mary Sue!

_She had short but flowing and vibrant brown hair that shone like the sunset_

Noire: How can you have 'flowing' short hair?

Nep: 'Cause of the powers of Mary Suedom, of course!

_and a chest that was perfectly sized, certainly not too small and definitely nowhere near the size of the terrible monster that had terrorizing her kingdom,_

Vert: Seems like an author avatar or self-insert as well.

_the monster known only as Trev._

Vert:…and apparently the villain is supposed to represent me.

Nep: Well, since it's just your name spelled backwards…

_Her eyes were a beautiful baby blue that would cause both women and men to swoon, her skin was a creamy porcelain that gave her the appearance of an angel, and her legs were sexy._

Noire:…What? She couldn't come up with something more indulgently descriptive for her legs?

_All who cast eyes on Lady Queen Shirayukihimesamakami the Heartful and Magnificent_

Nep: Wow, is she really gonna write that whole thing out everytime?

_Were instantly smitten by her great beauty and decided to become her allies or subjects,_

Nep: Oh Goddess, the Lady Queen's trying to do an Assimilation Plot! Save yourself, Noirey!

Noire (blushing): Good grief, Neptune…

_With the exception of the terrible, ugly, vile, hateful, boob monster Trev, of course._

Vert: Oh dear, Blanc must really be envious of my chest…

Nep: Meh, she should be glad that her boobs still aren't as small as Nisa's…

-XO[]/\-

Elsewhere, Nisa suddenly had a strong desire to do something decidedly unjust and villain-like to Neptune. Huh, weird….

-XO[]/\-

_And after the terrible monster Trev kidnapped the neighboring kingdom's Princess, Princess Apmoc_

Nep: Say wha?

Noire:…I guess Blanc has a crush on Compa?

Nep:…Wow. I was only joking about that being into Compa thing in the first game…

_Lady Queen Shirayukihimesamakami the Heartful and Magnificent_

Nep: Geez, can't we just call her Mid-Boss or something?

_Took hold of her Elegant and Beautiful Axe of Total Ragnapocalypse and Armegiddo_

Noire: That name is equal parts terrifying _and_ stupid…

Vert: Can we just call it the Infinity Plus One Axe?

_And set off to defeat the vile monster Trev and save Princess Apmoc from her foul and massive-breasted clutches…_

Vert: Blanc really shouldn't have to be so jealous. I mean, aren't there people who like girls of Blanc's size?

Nep: Yeah, there are plenty of people with a Pettanko fetish. That's why I never worry about the whole chest thing.

Noire: …Says the girl with the extremely well-endowed HDD form…

Nep: Ah come on, Noirey! It's not like I can stays in that form forever! You're such a meanie girlfriend…

Noire: H-Hey!

_And so she trekked, night and day, through dark caves, mysterious forests, and searing deserts, all filled with legions of monsters that met their end by the blade of the Elegant and Beautiful Axe of Total Ragnapocalypse and Armegiddo._

Nep: Boooring. Show, don't tell!

_After many days and nights, she reached the vile monster's foul lair, filled with pollution and junk the stupid beast must have thought to be treasure._

Vert: A jab at my game collection, it seems.

_Moments later, Lady Queen Shirayuki-_

Nep: Yeah, let's just skip that, okies?

Noire: No complaints there.

_-and Magnificent found the creature and its captive._

"_Help me!" pleaded Princess Apmoc, "Help me, Lady Queen-"_

Nep: Skipping.

"_-and Magnificent! Save me from this foul beast!"_

"_GRAWR." Roared the monster Trev, "U IZ NO MATCH FOR MAH BIG BEWBIES, nOoB. Y DUN U GO HUM?"_

Vert: …I'm starting to get rather offended…

Nep: I'll get Iffy ta cheer ya upsies later.

Vert: Thank you, Neptune.

"_Never, shithead!" shouted Lady-_

Noire: No.

Vert: I see her mouth is still present even in her fiction…

_-nificent. Then, bringing forth her Elegant and Beautiful Axe-_

Nep, Noire, Vert: Skip it.

_-and Armegiddo, Lady-_

Nep, Noire, Vert: Skip it.

_-cent proceeded to do battle with the monster._

"_GRAWR." It roared. "SEW B IT. NOW U DIE."_

_CRASH! CLANG! BOOM! BLAM! It was a long and difficult battle, but in the end, Lady Queen-_

Nep: Ah, crackers…

_-ent defeated the foul Trev, and with little injury to her beautiful, goddess-like form._

Nep: Mary Sue! Also, show, don't tell! Seriously, where's the sweet stuff?... Mmmm, sweets…

Noire: Geez Neptune, you and your sweets… I guess I could get you some later, though. N-Not that I want to or anything.

Vert: I question why you still do that even though you two are in a relationship.

Noire: Shut up.

_And with the monster defeated, Lady-_

Noire: (sigh) That's getting rather annoying.

_-t freed the captive Princess Apmoc._

"_Oh, thank you Lady-"_

Vert: Must she really insist on writing the entire thing every time?

_-ent!" exclaimed the grateful Apmoc, "However can I repay you?"_

Nep: 'You can do me!' said Lady blah.

Noire: N-Neptune!

"_I can think of a few ways," said Lady-_

Vert: I'm starting to want to rage quit…

_-ent. And with that, Lady-_

Nep, Noire, Vert: NO!

_-ent began undressing Princess Apmoc, who, realizing what her savior wanted, happily complied._

Nep: …No way, I was only joking. Really?

_And after Lady Queen Shirayukihimesamakami the Heartful and Magnificent_

Noire: Yeah, we give up.

_Undressed herself as well, the two women's sweet lips met as they began to engage in beautiful intercourse._

Nep: Yup. Looks like they really are doin' the deed.

_Their tongues did a beautiful dance as their hands ran along each others' bodies-_

Noire (blushing): …Maybe we should stop here…

Nep: But it's just getting to the good part, Noirey!

Vert: Yes, why not keep going?

Noire: _We're stopping._

Vert: (sigh) Very well.

Nep (pouting): Ah, man. Meanie girlfriend… But then again, Zdood probably doesn't want an M-rating just yet, anyway….

-XO[]/\-

Done reading Blanc's work of fiction, the general consensus was clear.

"Well, that was terrible." Said Neptune, as bluntly as possible, "And judging by the other stuff on the drive, it's one of her later things… which means it's probably _better_ than a lot of her other stuff!"

"I do have to give her credit for her grammar and spelling," said Vert, "but still… that was rather hard to stomach. Blanc's insistence on using that entire name every time didn't help, either…"

"Oh, you mean Lady Queen Shira-"

SMACK! "No, Neptune." Said an annoyed Noire.

"Owies! Meanie girlfriend…" said a Nep who was rubbing her aching head.

"S-Stop calling me that…" Noire blushed, then said, "Anyways, I don't think we should try this again, not for a while at least. I mean, that was… yeah."

"Well, till next time, then!" exclaimed Nep. Exchanging goodbyes (and vowing to keep their sporking a secret from Blanc), Vert decided to go home. Noire decided to stay for a bit longer. N-Not that it was for quality time with Nep or anything.

"So…" began Nep, looking mischievous, "Wanna mess around, Noirey? I'm kinda in the mood after reading that last part of the story…"

"N-Neptune!" exclaimed an embarrassed Noire.

"Ah, come on, no one else is here right now… Nep Jr. is off doing… something, Iffy and Compa are doin' something else, and Histy is doin' somethin' too!"

"W-Well…" stammered Noire, blushing and turning away, "I… I'll think about it!" She began walking off, Nep right behind her.

"Pretty pleeease?" said Nep, donning the Puppy Dog Eyes of Doom ™.

"I said I'll think about it!"

"Tease…"

-XO[]/\-

Level 3 end

-XO[]/\-

~Concept Art Corner~

Ram: Uh, you do know that that 2012 joke is going to be really outdated sooner or later, right?

Zdood: Don't care, dood.

Ram: Also, how dare you make my sister a pervert!

Zdood: Don't care, dood.

Ram: …Huh? That doesn't really seem like a fitting answer-

Zdood: Don't care, dood.

Ram: …Am I talking to a cardboard cutout with a tape recorder on the back?

Zdood: Don't care, dood.

Ram: … (transforms)

Not Zdood: Don't care, do- (SMASH)

-XO[]/\-

_Episode Preview:_

_Nisa: FISTS OF JUSTICE, GO! We must locate that vile villain!_

_Iffy: What's she on about now?_

_Nisa: We must locate that horrid cretin who slandered my busom's good name this chapter!_

_Nep (looking shifty): Oh, haha, is… is that so? (whistles innocently)_

_Nisa: YES! Though I had the bizarre feeling that it was Lady Purple Heart that did this, it must surely be my imagination, or a trick by an evil mastermind to turn me against her! And I'm pretty sure it's the evil mastermind!_

_Nep (relieved): O-Oh, uh, yeah, totally. Let's go find this jerk and kick his booty!_

_Iffy: …No comment._

_Nisa: Next time, on Super Hyperdimensional Justice Nisa, "Pettankos Unite! Don't Angst About the A-Cup, for it is the True Most Common Superpower!_

_Etna: LET'S KILL THAT BASTARD!_

_Nep: …Yeah!... (nervous giggling)_

_Iffy: Oh, lookie, what a surprise. It's Etna from Disgaea. I told you Disgaea characters would inevitably start showing up._

_Nisa: Pettankos of the world, stay tuned!_

-XO[]/\-

AN: ...I have to ask, because I'm dying to know: How many of you actually double-checked the first chapter last chapter when I mentioned leaving Compa out of the harems? Be honest, dood...

Fun fact: 'Shirayukihimesamakami' roughly translates to 'White Snow Princess Lord God,' if I'm not mistaken anyway, dood.

...And, because it's probably worth noting, I occasionally pop by the NISA forums. I don't have an account (yet), I just read stuff. Yeah. Just throwin' it out thar, dood.

More importantly, I might start the first story arc next chap - the _Iffy's Harem_ arc. Look forward to it, dood, 'cuz I know Iffy probably won't!


	4. Iffy's Harem 1: Let the Games Begin!

Disclaimer: /begin sarcasm/ I _totally_ own this game series that I'm writing a fanfic about. /end sarcasm/

AN: Hello all who have yet to be put in the funny farm, and welcome to the beginning of the first story arc (though I use the words 'story' and 'arc' loosely), the _Iffy's Harem_ arc, dood!

So, where to begin... ah, yes, responses.

_Eyeshield:_ I didn't get smashed, dood. It was a cardboard cutout. On that note, if a vengeful cardboard wife and kids wielding sharp, pointy objects come asking about me, you never saw me, got it dood? Thanks for the support in any case, and if you'll excuse me, I have a plane to Yugoslavia to escape on. (runs away)

_Lord Val:_ I have to remember to do a skit involving the voice actor thing eventually, dood. Maybe I'll throw in Rukia, Nagato, Yoko, Tsukasa, Desco, Salvatore, etc. while I'm at it, too...

_Hydrocity3:_ ...So why _don't_ you write another fic with Red? I liked the first one, dood. :) Thanks muchly for the support, too!

_Some Random Tosser:_ ...I think you killed _Disgaea Gamer_, dood. O_O... _However,_ if you continue to drop reviews like you've been doing, I _suppose_ I could sweep this under the rug for ya... The authorities'll never have to know, dood... ;) Also, you'll probably be happy to know that Nisa has a role in this arc beyond 'gag preview announcer.' Oh, and don't be _silly_; the first Neptunia game has more than _that_ in its dialogue!... It also has random video game references/gags of varying quality and subtlety. You missed one, dood. ;)

_Endlos Nacht & Yuzuuki:_ Thankies, doods! And to _Yuzuuki_, now you're making me want to do a Kate Higgins gag. So, who's she voiced in the past... (looks up on TvTropes).

_Prinny:_ ...Can I use you as a stunt double, dood?

_Divine Service: _... You want more of this fic, or Blanc's writing, dood? Though if you're looking for crappy but amusing writing, may I suggest the infamous _My Immortal_, dood? (Warning: ...Just... Warning...) ;)

_Neptunia and Disgaea fan:_ ...I'm going to be honest with ya, dood - though I know of Blazblue and Shin Megami Tensei, I don't know enough about them to consciously reference them... which means I apparently referenced them _by accident._ Welp, it's official dood, this fic is becoming an Eldritch Abomination, the Elder God of Pointless References. Hide your children, dood! O_O

_ShadowStrikerX9:_ Thank you muchly, dood. :)

Walp, enjoy the beginning of the first arc, doods!

-XO[]/\-

Level 4 – **Let the Games Begin! – **...uh… begin?

-XO[]/\-

It was a quiet day in Planeptune.

"Iffy, would you like to play a game with me?"

Well, mostly.

"Iffy, let's sing a duet!"

'Mostly' meaning everywhere but IF's house (and anywhere Nep is, because, well, it's Nep).

"IF, um, would you like to go on a walk with me?"

This was primarily due to her harem…

"Iffy, try my new dish!"

Who, by sheer contrived, trolleriffic coincidence, all wanted to do something with Iffy this day.

"Iffy, wanna have a steamy event scene with me?"

Thankfully, it should be fairly easy to tell who said what. But, just in case, the order was Vert, 5, Gear, Compa, and Red.

And as for Iffy?

"Guys, guys!"

Well, it's a darn shame she can't multiply herself. Anyone got a duplicator on hand? No? Oh well.

"One at a time, will ya?-! I can't do everything at once! I'm not Noire or her console, geez!" the poor, (un?)lucky woman shouted.

Iffy's harem exchanged looks.

"Oh, me first!" said Vert.

"No, me!" said 5.

"Goodness, um…" Obvious speaker is obvious.

"Iffy, pretty please?" asked Compa.

"Six-way for the win!" More obvious speaker is more obvious.

"Ugh…" Iffy was quickly developing a headache. And a migraine, too, for that matter. A headgraine, then? Or is that a miache?

"Oh, I know! Let's have a battle!" shouted Nep, who appeared from… uh… I don't know, the moon. Or by the power of plot, take your pick.

"Nep? What are you doing here?" asked Iffy. Then she noticed what Nep was wearing, and deadpanned, "…And why are you wearing a maid outfit?"

"Because reference," Nep cheerily replied, "And I'm here because of the power of plot! Now whaddaya say, everyone? Wanna battle it out for Iffy?"

"Oh, I don't know…" said Vert.

"Erm…" said 5.

"Not really…" said Gear.

"I don't want to fight… Can't we just get along?" said Compa.

"Yeah! The harem ending is the best ending!" said Red.

"Aw…" Nep looked sad for all of half a second, and then, "Well too bad, we're doing it anyway! Scene change, please!"

"Hey, wai-" shouted Iffy.

-XO[]/\-

"…Never mind." Said Iffy, as the whole group of her, her harem, and Nep had somehow wound up in some sort of stadium, which was absolutely packed! ...With emptiness. Seriously, the only people there were the other goddesses, candidates, and important humans, including the oracles. Not a minor, unimportant NPC in sight. Unless some reviewer would be kind enough to let me have them or an OC of theirs make a cameo, hint hint.

"Welcome, doods, to the first ever Harem Love-Love Battle Royale!" Oh, and the annoying prinny, dressed in a tux (redundant, considering he's a peg-legged penguin) in addition to his shades, was there, too… but really, who cares?

"Here, these harem doods will participate in a series of challenges in order to decide who gets Iffy!"

"They're not a harem! And don't I get a say in this?-!" shouted Iffy.

"Nope, dood! Why do ya think you're tied to that pole?"

"Wait, what?-!" Iffy looked down to find that, yes, she was tied to a pole somehow. "How did- _When _did-"

"I have crazy time-stop powers, dood!"

"No you don't!"

"I'm uber-fast, dood!"

"No you aren't!"

"BECAUSE PLOT, dood."

"…You must really fail as an author if you can't think up a more coherent way of doing this."

"Now let's meet our competitors, dood!"

"Don't ignore me!" shouted an indignant Iffy.

The annoying announcer/organizer prinny listed off names, a spotlight shining on each person as they were named.

"The busty goddess, Vert 'Thunder-Tits' Green Heart, dood!"

"…Greetings?" she said, a little hesitantly. The crowd cheered! ...Or it would have if there were one.

"Go, my dearest Vert!" Well, okay, Chika cheered. "Kick their butts!"

"Aren't you jealous?" asked Mina.

"Oh yeah, totally, but if anyone's gonna win this stupid competition, it's gonna be my dearest Vert! I'll worry about scaring off IF after she wins."

"Okay then…"

The annoying prinny continued, "The shrinking violet idol singer who should totally do a duet with Hatsune Miku sometime, 5!P!B! Also known as… LYRICA, dood!"

"U-um, hello everyone?" she shyly said.

"…Yay." Said Cave, cheering for her friend in the most enthusiastic voice she could muster. Of course, Cave being Cave, it came off as kind of a deadpan, even though it wasn't.

"The main protagonist of Mk2, dood, Nepgear 'Ge-Ge' Purple Sister!"

"Goodness… hello, everyone?" she demurely said.

"Go, Nep Jr. !" shouted Nep, back in her normal attire. Looks like Noire totally missed out.

"… I thought you didn't want your sister to get married?" asked Noire.

"Well, this isn't marriage! And I don't mind datin'!"

"What if they did get married eventually?"

"Eh, I trust Iffy."

"Oh, fine." Then Noire looked at Uni, who was biting a handkerchief in a classic gesture of jealousy. "…Are you feeling alright?"

"Just. _Fine. _I mean, it's not like I like Nepgear or anything." The candidate ground out.

"…Okay then…"

And at the same time, another candidate, namely Rom, looked rather down.

"…"

"You okay, sis?" asked Ram.

"…fine?"

The author avatar continued to announce. "The clumsy nurse-in-training with a hugeass syringe, Coooompa, dood!"

"Hi everyone!" she said excitedly.

"Go, Compa!" shouted Nep.

"And finally, dood, the harem-seeker and out-and-out lesbian, whose company that she represented was sadly bought out, rest their souls, Reeeed! Sucks that she won't appear in the other Neptunia games, dood…"

"Heya!" she enthusiastically shouted.

"Go, Red!" shouted Nep.

"Why are you cheering for her?" asked Noire.

"Because why not?"

"Yes, it is these doods that will be battling for the affections of the level-headed only sane woman, Iffy!"

"But we don't want to!" the harem said in unison.

"Granted, we may not necessarily want to share Iffy," began Vert, "but we don't really want to go through this, either."

"Yeah, can't we be more… civil?" agreed 5.

"This is a little much…" said Gear.

"We don't really want to fight…" said Compa.

"Yeah! Like I said, the harem ending is best!" shouted Red.

"Eh, too bad dood. We're doin' it anyway," Said the uncaring annoying prinny, then he added, "Besides, it's not really fighting so much as a bunch of games, dood. Only the _last_ event really involves fighting."

The harem shared a look.

"…Oh, alright…" they said together.

"Great, dood!" said the author avatar, "Well, competitors, there will be a short intermission before the competition actually begins. I suggest you rest up and get ready, doods!"

"…Are you just giving them a break because you didn't actually plan any of the events in advance?" deadpanned Iffy.

"SHUT UP. I HAVE A BIRD BRAIN, DOOD."

"Yes. Yes you do."

-XO[]/\-

Meanwhile, outside the stadium…

"Huh, I wonder what the losers are doing?" asked whatsherface… uh….

"It's _Linda_, genius!" said… oh, right, Underling.

"MY NAME IS LINDA, JACKASS!" So yeah, like I said, Underling.

"Oh, F-ck you!" said the irritable Underling.

"Be quiet, chump." Said Pirachu, who was accompanying her, "someone might hear you!"

"Yeah yeah, whatever…"

So yeah, we find tweedle dee and tweedle dum lurking around the stadium grounds, no doubt plotting something Team Rocket-ish.

After looking at the stadium for a minute, Underling came to a decision.

"Heh. Well, whatever they're doing, I think we should mess it up."

"Sure, chump," Said Pirachu indifferently, before looking rather more excited "And maybe I'll finally get my sweet Compa, chump!"

"Hm, now… how to make the twerps' lives miserable?" Underling looked around, wondering what exactly to do, before going off onto a Wile E. Coyote-esque tangent.

"Hm… maybe set up bombs all over the place? … Nah. Booby-trap the entrances with pitfalls? ... Nah. Launch random crap over the walls with a catapult? … Nah."

However, as the decidedly non-threatening minor villain (okay, so she sicced a robot army on Lowee in Mk2, she just got lucky) pondered what to do, Nisa, who had decided to go outside during the intermission, noticed the duo.

"AH-HA! I thought my justice sense was tingling! What are you up to, Underling!-?" Nisa shouted emphatically.

"Ack, it's the justice psycho!" shouted a now-panicking Underling.

"Crap, cheese it, chump!"

And the pair ran like an insane murderous lunatic was after them.

"Halt, you terrible twosome!"

…Which, considering it was Nisa after them, wasn't too far off. Just take out the 'murderous' part, and presto! Kind of a shame that she's gonna miss out on the fun, though.

Speaking of which…

-XO[]/\-

"And that's it for the intermission, doods!" said the annoying announcer prinny, "Hope you all enjoyed your break, and welcome back to the show!"

"I shure dad!" said Nep, who was eating and currently in possession of a large number of snacks.

"Neptune, don't talk with your mouth full." Said Noire.

"Oh, shurry Nuire (gulp). Hey, want some popcorn?"

"… Sure."

"Don't accidentally touch my hand while we're eatin' it, now~" teased Nep.

"N-Neptune!" Noire blushed.

"Grrr…" grumped Uni.

"This is so pointless…" said Kei.

"Don't we have work to do?" said Histy, who was promptly ignored for attempting to be logical.

"This is gonna be fun!" said Ram happily, enjoying some cotton candy.

"…Mm…" said Rom, less happily.

"Don't eat too much candy, now, Ram." Advised Mina.

"Meh," Said Blanc, reading a book that looked suspiciously like a pornographic novel.

"Vert, Vert, she's our woman, if she can't do it, no one can! Goooo Vert!" cheered Chika, dressed in a fanservicey cheerleader outfit. You're welcome, by the way.

"…Yay." Said Cave with as much enthusiasm as she could muster (i.e., not much).

"This should be interesting." Said Falcom.

"Gust is selling souvenirs! Anyone want to buy some?" advertised Gust, wearing one of those box things that people selling stuff at sports games would wear, and attempting to make a profit.

"Why did no one untie me during the break?" said an irritated Iffy, "And for that matter, can I just be untied _period_?"

The grand prize of the competition was promptly ignored for attempting to be logical.

"So doods, are you ready?"

The harem shared another look.

"…As ready as we'll ever be, I believe," Vert answered for the group.

"Well then dood, LET THE GAMES… BEGIN!"

DONG! DONG!

And with the sound of a bell, the first ever Harem Love-Love Battle Royale began.

"I'm going to kill that stupid prinny when this is over…" muttered Iffy, before shouting, "And your title drops are _still_ painfully forced!"

-XO[]/\-

Level 4 end

-XO[]/\-

_Episode Preview:_

_Etna: FLASH! BANG! What could that be?_

_Iffy (still tied to pole): …What? Why's __**she**__ doing this? And can someone get me off this thing?_

_Etna: It is the roar of the ultimate battle robo!_

_Nep: Oh, she's standing in for Nisa while she's busy with Underling and Pirachu. And no, sorry!_

_Etna: The Beautiful Etna Lagann!_

_Iffy: Well she shouldn't be. It's just going to invite more pointless crossovers. And why not?_

_Etna: In no time at all, all of her enemies are obliterated by her sex appeal! ...Oh, and her missiles too, I guess._

_Nep: Ah come on Iffy, this is fun! And Zdood bribed me with candy._

_Iffy (grumbling): Damn you and your sweet tooth…_

_Etna: Next time on the Invincible Etna Lagann: "Pierce the Heavens with your Sexiness! Seduce the Anti-Pettankos into Oblivion!"_

_Iffy: (sigh) At least the so-called 'next episode' wasn't a mishmash of random trope names this time…_

-XO[]/\-

AN: And so the first story arc begins, dood!

...So, is it just me, or does 'Harem Love-Love Battle Royale' sound like it came straight out of Negima, dood?

Anyone who can guess the reference maid-outfit Nep made seriously deserves a medal or something. So, _Eyeshield_, since you were kind enough to play my last game, think you're up for the challenge, dood?

Also, would anyone like to cameo as a random audience member, dood? (Warning: Zdood is not responsible for any pain, humiliation, degradation, torture, mutilation, or comical injuries inflicted upon cameo people... dood)

...I have a sudden craving for fan art of the Neptunia girls in cheerleader outfits. Weird, dood...

And I shall finish off the notes with a little something some of you might like to know: my PSN screen name is **Zdood_Da_Prinny**. Partially, this is just more contact info (and really, I wouldn't mind chatting with some of ya sometime, dood), but for Disgaea fans (and I know a fair amount are in the audience, dood... if you've played one game NIS was involved with, then you've probably played others, too, dood...) it's also custom map plugging. My current one is a nostalgic throwback to the battle with Laharl and Flonne in Disgaea 2, with a few twists... If you're interested, try it out, dood. If not, feel free to ignore the shameless plugging.


	5. IH 2: Amazing Freakin' Race

Disclaimer: insert something witty here that says I don't own this.

AN: Hey hey hey doods, this story is back! ...With a vengeance!... For some reason!... Wait, what exactly am I getting revenge on, again?...

Oh, whatever. Review responses, dood!

_Eyeshield_: The maid thing was a reference to an anime/manga called _He Is My Master_. I know maids are used in a lot of series, dood, but the key was the 'Let's have a battle' thing Nep said, which is what the character Mitsuki's catchphrase is in that series, pretty much. She says it like every chapter, just before some kind of ridiculous competition starts up. On another note, you might like the series, dood - it's largely a parody of typical harem series, and I think it's pretty funny. Also, thanks for giving me permission to use your OC. I will be sure to make good use of him... BWAHAHAHAHA! ...Oh, and the reason Kei wasn't promptly ignored for attempting to be logical is because she wasn't pointing out a specific logical fallacy so much as just complaining, dood.

_Some Random Tosser_: If you're looking at the first game fondly due to Mk2, I'm going to guess that it's cause of the lolicon stuff, dood. Or because of CFW Trick (but then again, everyone hates him). Or both. Thanks for the permission for Jacob usage, too, dood. And the maid thing is answered in the response to Eyeshield... though yeah, it is used in a lot of anime. But hey, maids are sexy, dood. :)

_Yuzuuki_: Keeping me hostage? O_O Are you insane, dood? How would I write the story?-! O_O ... But seriously, thanks for the support, dood. Maybe you can have Iffy after her harem is done with her. :)

_Prinny_: Thanks for the support. Also, as you have given me permission to use you as a stunt double, your life is now forfeit, dood. MWAHAHAHAHA!

_No such thing as heros_: Uh... Okay, dood?

_Lord Val_: Tanks, dood! I prolly will do a voice actor thing eventually. I doubt it'll be the weirdest thing to happen in this fic anyway, dood.

_Hydrocity3_: Thanks, dood. And here's how to write Nep's dialogue in 5 easy steps: Step 1 - Write the most random things you can think of on various strips of paper. Step 2 - Put those strips of paper into a blender. Step 3 - Have an insane old woman who thinks she's psychic interpret the mush that was once those strips of paper. Step 4 - ? . Step 5 - PROFIT. Also, thanks for the cameo permission, dood. Just be warned that Red may not necessarily win, dood... Of course, she won't necessarily lose, either. I just feel it's fair to warn ya, is all, dood.

_Neptunia and Disgaea fan_: Tanks. And thanks for the cameo permission, dood. Hmmm... I could use a henchperson...

_PrinnyOfTheYear_: Thanks for the salute, sardine, scarf, and support, dood!

And now, on with fic, dood!

-XO[]/\-

Level 5 – **Amazing Freakin' Race** – Ready, Set, Go!

-XO[]/\-

"Welcome back, doods and other doods!" exclaimed the annoying prinny, "But of course that only applies to the readers. Now, as for my – er, our vict- er, contestants, the first event iiiis…"

The annoying prinny proceeded to grandly gesture to a rather large racetrack situated behind him.

"A race! Dood!"

The miniscule crowd cheered at the sight of the course, which – oh crap, how you describe something as intricate as a racetrack in a text-based medium? Uh… it was big, brown, had item boxes scattered everywhere, some dangerous traps here and there, some annoying turns and such… okay, I think that covers it.

Iffy, tied to her pole, just stared at it for a minute. "…You know, I'm almost certain that wasn't here at the end of the last chapter. But then again, considering the author's lack of description for the background, who knows…"

The contestants were lined up at the track's starting line, with each one's kart matching them. Nepgear had a lavender one, Compa a pink one, 5pb a blue one, Vert got green, and Red had… red.

The annoying prinny, having somehow moved himself into some kind of announcer's box above the track, shouted, "Are you ready, doods!"

Gear looked nervous. "… Am I even old enough to drive?"

Compa was looking at her dashboard rather confusedly. "Um… I wonder what does what?"

Lyrica was also rather nervous. "W-well, um… I-I can do this…"

Vert seemed serene…ly nervous. "Well, it's just like my racing games, just… more real."

Red was excited. "What does this button do?" She pressed a button curiously labeled 'Prepare For Some Slapstick, Folks.' Suddenly, a cannon with a dragon-like rocket in the barrel popped out of her kart and fired into the air in some random direction.

BOOM!

The crowd stared at the rocket as it left the stadium. "… I hope that doesn't hit someone," Mina offhandedly noted.

-XO[]/\-

Some random dude was wandering around outside the stadium, minding his own business, having a sunny, bright, happy, perfect day- BOOM!

"GAAAAH!"

… Stupid rocket. Would it have killed it to have the decency to wait until I finished my description before blowing up Random-guy Mc' Who-cares-who-he-is? (grumble, grumble…)

-XO[]/\-

Back in the stadium, the shady prinny had brought forth a cannon from… somewhere.

"Okay, doods! On your mark!"

Red revved her kart something fierce. The others were a little unsure.

"Get set!"

Vert noticed a little button on her dash. "…A 'driving assistance' button?" she wondered, catching Gear, Compa, and 5's attention, who then looked at their dashboards. Needless to say, they all planned to press it. Red just kept revving her kart.

And rather than just saying 'go,' apparently the annoying prinny thought it a better idea to fire the cannon he had, and lit the fuse. "Bombs away, dood," He snickered, the little pyro.

BOOM!

And so the racers were off, onto the latest Mario Kart clone.

Red quickly took the lead, which was unsurprising considering how hyped up she'd been. Vert's gamer instincts soon took over as she got second place. Compa and Gear were struggling behind everyone a bit; apparently some assistance to their driving from the somewhat arbitrary button didn't change the fact that neither knew how to drive. 5 fared slightly better than them, gaining third place.

Red decided to push the fun button again. You know, the one that launched a rocket. Except this time, it read 'The Little Friend,' in a rather forced Scarface reference.

"Fire in the hole!" the little harem-seeker shouted as the cannon on her cart began to fire out a bunch of rockets that proceeded the rain fire down on the track. Hot, burning, painful, and oddly slapsticky fire.

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

As the shots landed on the track, Vert dodged them like a pro. Gear, Compa, and 5 weren't as lucky, as they all panicked and swerved out of control. And, just to prove Murphy's Law as the evil dick it is, this happened as they were approaching a curve. Which had a bottomless (okay, not really) pit on the other side. Gear and 5 managed to make the turn. Compa, on the other hand…

"AIEEE!" And, boom. Actually, you know what? You know the Wilhelm Scream or whatever, that stock scream that's been used in goddess knows how many places and that practically everyone and their grandma has probably heard at some point? Yeah, just imagine that when anyone screams in this chapter. It's way funnier that way.

Anyway, after a Not-Lakitu pulled her back up onto the track, Compa was, obviously, in dead last. Also she was upside down in her seat, butt sticking into the air, skirt fallen down, and panties showing. Yeah yeah, I know, now quit fantasizing, ya pervs.

This gave Vert an idea. "Oh, Red!" she yelled the one in the lead position, who looked back at her.

"Eh?"

"Take a look at that!" Vert pointed back at the still-prone Compa. Red looked back, saw the sight, and, unsurprisingly, became extremely distracted.

"Awesome!" she yelled, giving two thumbs way up, and paying no attention whatsoever to the wa-

SMACK!

…wall that she had just ran into, now comically flattened against it.

"See ya!" Vert shouted as she sped by, Gear and 5 coming up soon after.

"Owie…" Red mumbled as she recovered and got back into the race, a recovered Compa right behind her. Speeding along, Compa was the first to hit an item box. Why no one else had yet to do this, who knows. It may have something to do with a lazy author, though.

"Huh? What's this?" the nurse (in training) asked herself, looking at the strange object in her hands that I'm going to be deliberately vague about which means it can't be anything good. "Um… I guess I better use it." Compa said as she released the item, which proceeded to zoom through the air, making a beeline for the one in first place, ie Vert.

Also, it was so fast that it was a blue, not Sonic the Hedgehog blur.

Anyone who has yet to figure out what this item is has clearly never played a Mario Kart game.

Vert noticed this object coming up on her, and began to panic. "No, no, no, not that, anything but that…" she whispered in utter fear and terror at the monstrosity all people who have played Mario Kart dread and loathe. "Not the-"

BOOM! "EEEK!"

Vert's car bounced a couple of times, and all the other racers passing her as this was occurring. When it finished, a comically blackened Vert coughed out, "(cough) blue shell… (cough)" before shaking off the soot and driving off.

As all this occurred, the annoying prinny looked on, muttering to himself like the weirdo he was. "Hmm…" he began, "it seems my victestants are starting to get close to the finish line, dood…"

And they were, having passed the track's halfway point. Gear had taken first, 5 and Red were vying for second, and Vert was coming close to passing Compa.

As the prinny observed all this, he said, "time to kick it up a notch, dood." He turned to a lever situated behind him in his announcer's box and pulled it before cackling evilly. "MWAHAHAHA!... Dood!"

The audience suddenly got nervous looks on their faces, and for good reason. A myriad of traps had sprung up on the track, ranging from saw blades to lasers to fire to a Justin Bieber concert that's probably only here as a Take That to Hideyoshi Kinoshita (who had no flipping idea what he was doing here… and neither do you, if you don't get the reference) to whatever other random crap I can come up with on the fly.

"You're a bastard, you know that?" Iffy deadpanned at the prinny, who ignored her.

As the racers came up on these hazards, they tried their best to avoid them. Gear was the first to epically fail at this.

She ran into a saw blade. She was sliced and eviscerated into gory ludicrous gibs that splattered all over the place in a horrific display that caused everyone to scream in horror at the candidate's bloody and highly mutilated remains and I hope none of you were actually gullible enough to believe that load of bull. Seriously, this is a comedy, not torture porn.

In reality, she came out of the saw blade just fine, not even slowing down. Completely fine… well, save for how her clothes had been shredded, leaving her nude. "EEK!" She screamed, attempting to cover herself.

In the audience, Rom's nose bled a little. Ram pretended not to notice. Blanc's nose also bled a little, but that was probably because of her novel. Ram pretended not to notice that either.

Uni, on the other hand, flew backwards from a decidedly more powerful nosebleed. Noire pretended not to notice. Neptune just laughed while munching on some nachos.

Iffy's nose bled a little, too. She pretended not to notice.

Compa's nose bled a little as well. No one pretended not to notice.

In addition, Red yelled "AWESOME!" as her nose bled profusely, though this time it didn't seem to hinder her driving. Everyone pretended not to notice. Or just didn't care. It _is_ Red, after all.

And as you all proceed to get annoyed by this somewhat long gag, the author is pretending not to notice.

Back at the race, the fact that Gear was busy (attempting to) cover(ing) herself caused her kart to slow down, at which point 5 and Red sped by, 5 blaring the most inanely horrifying music she could think of at the harem seeker from speakers on her kart.

The music in question? Elevator music.

"OH GODDESS, MAKE IT STOP!" the poor redhead yelled in sheer, unadulterated, agonizing agony as she slowly began swerving out of control. And with a slight bump from 5's kart, she began spinning out as the idol took first place.

Coming to a stop, Red dizzily mumbled, "Stop the world, I wanna get off…" before she sped back up (driving in a decidedly drunken manner) just as Gear, who had taken to covering her exposed bits with her long hair, passed her. Vert and Compa were close behind, Vert being slightly ahead of the nurse-in-training.

A short time after this, the racers all zoomed by the finish line, prompting the annoying prinny to announce, "And that's a wrap, doods!"

A short time later, all the contestants were standing and waiting as the blatant author avatar announced their places.

"Okay, doods, in first place: Lyrica! Second, Nepgear! Third; Red, dood! Fourth – Vert by a hair and a cup size! And fifth ~ Compa!"

The whole crowd cheered exuberantly! ... Well, okay, only some of them did. The energetic ones, namely, like Nep. The more polite ones just clapped, like Mina. The ones that didn't really care just, uh… did… uncaring… things. Like Blanc, who may or may not have had her hand under her clothing as she read her obviously pornographic novel, which may or may not have been Fifty Shades of Wild Monkey Sex Stuff.

The annoying prinny continued, "So lessee here, dood… uh, 10 points to 5pb, 8 to Gear, 6 to Red, 4 to Vert, and 2 to Compa, dood." He paused. "Eh, sounds legit to me, dood."

"Um… Mr. Zdood?" asked Gear hesitantly, blushing.

"Eh?" the penguin thing grunted.

"Can I go get some clothes now?"

"Yeah, yeah, sure dood. You gals all get a short break before the next round of tort- I mean contests, anyway, dood." He then pointed a flipper at the screen. "See you doods after the break!"

-XO[]/\-

The break was nearing its end, and preparations were being made for the next contest. Not that you'd guess at first glance, with how lax the annoying organizer prinny was. Well, lax save for how he was shoving some poor schmuck into the starting cannon from earlier, anyway. He turned to the crowd. "Well doods, I'd like to give you all a half-time show before the next event begins. Hehehe…"

Gesturing to his left, the prinny indicated the schmuck. "This dood, who was found charred outside the stadium, has charitably – and totally willingly – volunteered for this, dood. Let's give him a hand, folks!"

Some clapping was heard. Yaaay. Some light snoring could also be heard, the source of which was Iffy, who had apparently fallen asleep at some point, still tied to the pole. Yaaay.

…Also, at this point, it's probably worth noting that the guy in the cannon was gagged, blindfolded, and tied up.

The annoying prinny continued to announce-iate, "According to the ID in his wallet, his name is Rel Vista or some such. But really, who cares, dood? Now's let's get down to business with my vic- I mean volun- no, wait, I was right the first time dood, he's a victim!"

The newly named 'Rel Vista' mumbled something through his gag. "Mmfgh!"

"Oh? What's that?" the author avatar asked, "You'd rather I call you by your nickname of 'Cannon Fodder'? Okay, sure dood. I'm down with that."

"Mmgh! Mfghl!" Cannon Fodder mumbled.

"Hm? You want me to keep your wallet, dood? Oh, you're too kind!"

"Mmpk!"

"You want me to light the cannon's fuse, dood? My, I see someone's eager! Kay, dood! Here ya go!" The troll prinny lit up a match and proceeded to light the fuse.

"…" Cannon Fodder was oddly silent. It may have had something to do with the prinny's trollery.

"Oh, dood?" the prinny continued to troll, "You want me to stuff a bunch of high explosives in there with ya? Sure, dood! You're quite the daredevil!"

"MMPH!"

The now-panicking Cannon Fodder's protests were ignored as the prinny stuffed dynamite, C4, nitro glycerin, and other such explodey things in with him, the fuse getting closer to its end.

"You doods might want to cover your ears!" he shouted to the audience.

-XO[]/\-

Some dogoos were frolicking in a field, when suddenly-

_**BOOO OOO OOO OOO OOO OOO OOO OOO OOO OOOM!**_

The dogoos proceeded to bounce away in sheer terror as a mighty earthquake shook the earth, accompanied by some not-quite-drowned-out screams of sheer, bloodcurdling agony. Moments later, a charred thing that may have once been vaguely human landed in the field, twitching in pain.

"bRrguAugh…" Cannon Fodder groaned in (synonym for pain) for a few moments, before hearing a growling noise. Apparently, a Fenrir had been nearby stalking the dogoos prior to the quake. Now that its intended meal was gone, it was pissed. But it figured the morsel in front of it would suffice.

The Fenrir licked its chops. Cannon Fodder just whimpered.

-XO[]/\-

"Welp, doods," began the prinny, "Now that that's over, I do believe it's time for the next event, dood!"

The crowd, waiting for the next event, didn't seem to care much that some poor guy had been launched out of a cannon filled with explosives. It probably had something to do with him being male. And an OC. And their women's intuition, which probably told them that he was a chick magnet that would disrupt the story if allowed to live. Heck, the only reason the annoying prinny survives is… wait, he's been killed, like, three or four times already, hasn't he? Okay, never mind then.

"But," the author avatar who never seems to be referred to by name except by Nep (and Gear, earlier this chapter) continued, "I still gotta finish up the preparations, dood. So it's gonna have to wait until next chap."

Nep raised her hand. "What do we do until then?"

"Eh, I dunno. Make out or something, I don't care, dood."

Nep glanced at Noire.

"No." said the tsundere.

"Aw, crackers. Meanie girlfriend." Nep paused. "Wait, make that S girlfriend. Quit jackin' Iris Heart's thing, Noirey!"

"N-Neptune!" Noire shouted indignantly.

"Yeah yeah, that's cute and fuzzy and all, but we've got stuff to do, dood." The prinny then looked at the still-sleeping Iffy. How she slept through that chaotic cannon cacophony, we may never know. "Like waking up Iffy, dood…" the prinny then pulled out an air horn from… somewhere.

Much sadistic snickering was heard in the next several seconds.

-XO[]/\-

Meanwhile, underneath the stadium, Underling and Pirachu were panting in exhaustion, having lost Nisa… for now.

"Hah… Hah… damn justice freak…" Underling panted, before taking a deep breath. Looking around the area they were in, she asked, "…Where the hell are we?"

Pirachu, after a moment, answered, "Looks like a temple or something, chump."

And indeed, that's what it looked like. Long, dark corridors lit by the occasional periodic torch stretched for seemingly eternity in each direction. The walls were adorned with bizarre hieroglyphics that an archaeologist would be hard pressed to decipher.

"…Whose stupid idea was it to build a stadium on top of a place like _this_?" Underling wondered.

Above ground, the prinny's plan to wake up Iffy with an air horn was ruined as he sneezed, waking her up anyway. Which is weird since, you know, the symphony of screams and explosions generated by the half-time show somehow didn't. Women's intuition, maybe?

Didn't stop him from blowing the air horn anyway, though. And much pissed off shouting was had by Iffy.

Anyway, as the terrible two looked around, they heard a very familiar and dreaded shouting coming from somewhere down one of the halls.

"Where are you, villains!-?" came Nisa's shouting.

"Crap, gotta scram, chump!" squeaked Pirachu.

"For once, I agree with ya, rat!" panicked Underling.

And so they both ran in the opposite direction of the shouting, which continued undeterred.

"You two can't escape justice forever! I can smell your evil!"

"She's talking about you, chump!" Pirachu shouted as he and his partner in crime ran. "You forgot to put deodorant on your smelly pits, didn't you!-?"

"No," Underling shouted back, "She's talking about you! You were probably bathing in sewage earlier like the rat you are!"As this argument went on, Nisa ran by the area the two had been resting in previously.

"I'll never give up my pursuit, you fiends! NEVER!"

And after the heroine passed, something… odd happened. A section of wall rumbled for a moment, before spinning around to reveal…

"Heh, heh, heh… all according to plan, dood…" Gasp! The annoying prinny!

…Wait a minute, how'd he get here?… Eh, must have been offscreen teleportation.

The prinny snickered for a bit longer, and then the wall panel flipped back around. What could that little bastard be planning…

Well, whatever it is, it's probably not good. Evil little troll….

-XO[]/\-

Level 5 end

-XO[]/\-

_Episode Preview:_

_Etna: Oh! What mysteries could be unfolding in this mysterious temple?-!_

_Iffy (still tied to pole… of course): ... No way. Is she actually doing a real preview?_

_Etna: Whatever it is, it's up to the beautiful and intelligent Sherlock Etna to find out!_

_Iffy: (sigh) I knew it was too good to be true…_

_Etna: Murder! Thievery! Intrigue! It'll take all of Sherlock Etna's skills to solve this mystery!_

_Iffy: …I wonder if that bastard of an author will let me use the bathroom. I can't exactly do that while tied to a pole…_

_Etna: Next time on the Adventures of Sherlock Etna: "And Then There Were None… Except Etna!"_

_Iffy: Speaking of that bastard, I wonder what he could be up to…_

-XO[]/\-

AN: The (lack of) plot thickens, dood!

'Rel Vista,' or rather Cannon Fodder, as I've taken to calling him, belongs to Eyeshield. I wonder if I went overboard with the torture... naaaah. And really, who cares, amirite, doods?

To any who have given me permission for cameos, thanks, doods! They'll prolly show up later on. Though as you saw with Cannon Fodder, I'm going to try and find a way to do the cameos so they aren't too forced, dood. As to whether these cameos will result in painful torture or not... That's a secret, dood. ;)

Anyone who guesses the reference Red's changing button is making (besides the Scarface thing) correctly gets an Internep high-five, dood, 'cause really, you'd deserve it. Hint: It involves another red car. ...Ya up for it, Eyeshield?

...So, who fell for the supposed evisceration of Gear at first and actually thought I'd gone (further) off the deep end? TROLOLOLOLOL.

Oh, and lessee... I predict this arc will probably have 2-4 more chapters before it ends, dood, depending. Be sure to stay tuned!


	6. IH 3: MacroMicroGames

Disclaimer: remialcsiD

AN: Helloooo and welcome all, to ze latest chap of your drug trip, doods! So, how d'ya guys like the shiny new cover for this fic, hm?

Also, I hoff joined ze NISA forums! 'Tis a fun place, dood. :)

Responses!

_Eyeshield_: Thank ya, dood! The red car and gag button were meant to be a Megas XLR reference.

_Some Random Tosser_: Firstly, fair enough. Second, you seem to be under the impression that the random dude was Jacob. That was supposed to be Eye's OC Rel; notice how later a charred dude (Rel) is brought in from just outside the stadium and shoved in a cannon. Same guy. No Jacobs were harmed in the making of the previous chapter, dood. Trust me, if it had been Jacob, I would've made it blatantly obvious. I can see why the mix-up was made, though, seeing as your username on here _is_ 'Some Random Tosser'... dood. Anyways, thanks dood, and chin up, 'kay? :) No moping is allowed in this place of light-hearted silliness and wackiness. :)

_Yuzuuki_: You know, now that you mention it, it was rather Dee-Dee-ish... that wasn't on purpose, though, but I do see it. Just lends more credence to my earlier theory that this fic is becoming an eldritch god of zaniness, dood. And what do you mean by 'how much blood is needed', dood...? Are you referring to the nosebleed gag? 'Cause if that's the case... a lot, I'd say. Prepare the blood transfusion, dood! :)

_liexi_: Do you really want me to answer that question, dood? You may go mad from the revelation...

_Hydrocity3_: Thank you muchly, dood. :)

_Lord Val_: Yup, I've seen that PV, dood. I liked it. :) I've seen the other PVs, as well.

_SriaLgtft_: Thanks, dood. :) Uni and Rom, you say... well, read and find out. ;) Also, wow. It's not every day you get a person back into writing... I feel all warm and fuzzy, dood. :D And thanks for the permission, too!

_Guest_: Yay, my very first flame! :D Fans of my fic, gather 'round, for this is a truly momentous occasion! A toast to our courageous friend 'Guest' here, who bravely posted an anonymous flame! Cheers, doods! :D (clink)(glug glug) Ohhhh yeeeah... tha's sum gud booze, dood. :D

Okay, now on with the (hic) fic, dood! ...(hic) hee hee... Oh, dun wurry, I'mma sober up bafor (hic) the chap's (hic) ovah, dood... I think...

-XO[]/\-

Level 6 – **Macro-Micro-Games** – Start!

-XO[]/\-

"Hey, Rom!"

"Yes… Miss Uni?"

"We need to do something!"

"Huh?"

"We can't let Nepgear win!"

"…Why?"

"Why do ya think? We'll lose her to IF if she wins, of course!"

"Oh…"

…

…

…Oh, I can narrate now? Okay, ahem…

As the annoying prinny was finishing setting up the next contest, the spectators were doing breaktime stuff. Blanc kept reading her obviously pornographic book (and judging by her mutterings, she was currently reading something involving ice cream, chocolate, and a whip), Ram pestered Mina to get her more snacks, Gust was selling slightly overpriced Red and Iffy nendoroids to a guy with an afro named Hydro (who seemed to show up out of nowhere… Must be a reviewer cameo who will never be seen again…), Nep and Noire were in the bathroom alone together doing whatever your imagination wants them to (you dogs, you), everyone else was doing everyone elsey things… and Uni and Rom were discussing important matters. Well, Uni was discussing, Rom was mostly listening. The only time Rom would ever be remotely talkative would be if she were around Ram or Gear... or if she was drunk. Hm, seems like an idea for the depraved mind of the author to file away for later…

"But… shouldn't we support Miss Nepgear?" Rom demurely asked.

"Well, yeah, but we still can't let her win!" Uni exclaimed.

Rom looked at Uni with an expression that indicated that she found something odd about Uni's logic. The approximate equation going through her mind is as thus: 'Support Miss Nepgear' + 'Can't let Miss Nepgear win' = …er, what? Does not compute. 404 not found.

She voiced as much. "…Miss Uni, that doesn't make a lot of sense…"

"S-So what?-! We should still do it anyway!" Uni held out her hand. "C'mon, Rom!"

Rom looked at Uni's hand for a minute. "Um…" She hesitantly placed her hand into Uni's, making a proverbial deal with the dev… goddess… sister… what would a deal with a god be like, anyway? Would you become some sort of superpowered hero or someth- I'm getting sidetracked…

"Al…Alright…"

"Good! It's an oath, then! Nepgear won't be winning this! After all, she's mine!"

Rom gave Uni a strange look.

Uni blushed. "E-er, I-I mean o-ours, u-um… we'll talk about that later…"

Rom nodded. And with that nod, the duo of haremettes made it their mission to make sure Gear lost. While still supporting her efforts in the contests anyway.

…

…Well, silly things like logic have never stopped determination, conviction, hot-bloodedness, and love before. Any random shonen series (any one at all, take your pick) will tell you that.

…Ignore what that guy Real Life says, though; he's a major buzzkill.

-XO[]/\-

A little bit later…

"Contestant doods!" shouted a certain prinny, "Are! You! Ready! For the next! CHALLENGE!"

The crowd did what it usually did. That is to say, it did random things. Cave apparently had managed to drag an arcade game machine into the stands and was playing (or more accurately, completely and utterly dominating) a bullet hell game of some kind, for example. Kei and Histy were playing chess. Falcom was polishing her sword. You know, stuff like that. Just stuff designed to remind you that these characters are here and exist and such. Yup.

…Oh, and Iffy was irritable due to her recent wake-up call via air horn, and could be heard muttering a variety of colorful curses under her breath that would make Blanc blush, while valiantly and futilely trying to escape her bonds in a desperate attempt to maul a certain blatant author avatar.

As for the contestants, they were eagerly (okay, not really… well, except for Red) waiting for their next challenge.

"Contestant doods, your next challenge iiiis…." The dood grandly gestured. "…actually a _series_ of challenges; you're gonna be playing minigames, dood!"

"Dun chu mean _microh_-ghames? Ahnd shumthin abut mhacro shtuff too?" asked Nep, whose mouth was full of blackberries. Yeah, that's totally not symbolic of her desires at all. The fact that they're _black_berries is completely and wholly coincidental, and should not be looked into with too much depth. Unless you're a rabid shipper, in which case any sane person would ignore you anyway (you dogs, you). Noire apparently was looking into this too much, as rather than scolding Nep for talking with her mouth full, she was remaining silent and blushing instead.

"Always with the damned stupid title drops, and couldn't the author keep those to himself, they were bad enough when he was the one crapping them out…" Iffy muttered, providing the requisite lampshading for what the author has apparently decided to make into a (n unfunny) running gag. It's appeared about three times now, hasn't it?

"…And now I have to repress the urge to roll my proverbial eyes whenever the author does that… not gonna play into his stupid games…" Iffy continued to grumble, evidently hearing what the (wildly inconsistent in terms of person and whether it's the author or someone else) narrator said.

…Getting back to the (lack of) main plot…

"Doods, the way this'll work is simple: you'll play minigames until someone manages to get three wins. Whoever gets to three wins first wins the contest, dood!"

"Gotcha!" shouted the ever-energetic Red. Everyone else just nodded.

"Well then, let's begin, doods!"

-XO[]/\- Minigame 1: Fake N' Bake

"Pick a cake, any cake, dood!" the out-of-place prinny gestured to a bunch of pedestals (ten, specifically) with cakes (well, duh) on them. "Some of which are –"

"Don't you _dare_ finish that sentence." Iffy seethed with absolute, unrelenting rage that would make Blanc proud. Or, considering the book Lowee's goddess was currently reading, aroused may be more accurate. Like Iffy needs any more haremettes…

"…rigged, dood. What did you think I was gonna say?" the prinny trolled, as he was obviously going to reference a certain meme (which shall remain unnamed, for bad things happen to those who speak of this meme) prior to Iffy's interruption.

"…I hate you." Iffy said.

"Anyways doods, you guys'll take turns picking cakes. If it's a normal cake, you're safe. If it does something weird (read: horrible) to you, you're out. And the kicker? Even _I_ don't know which ones are rigged, because if you take too long to pick, I'll pick _for_ you! Now, start, doods!"

Red was the first to go. "I piiick… this one!" The prinny brought the chosen cake over to reveal… drumroll, please… that it was normal!

"Yay!" Red shouted. "…Can I eat it?"

"Eh, go ahead dood." Red took the cake with a smile.

Vert went next. "That one, please." The prinny brought it over. And then…

"I AM BUNDT, HEAR ME ROAR!" It was kinda alive. And a one-off crossover (maybe) gag that will probably never be mentioned again. From that really old Square-made Mario RPG. No, really, this is what the author is resorting to.

"Well, you're out, dood." The living cake continued to roar. "…You might want to boss fight that thing now."

And so 'Bundt' and Vert took to having an epic battle that shall be remembered for ages (read: all of a few minutes, during which Nep will probably eat Bundt's remains). Leanbox's CPU would later be covered in red frosting, which would totally not be symbolic. At all. Quit overanalyzing everything.

5pb went next. The cake used Splash. That is to say, nothing happened.

Compa went, and suddenly found herself covered in white stuff when the cake exploded. She was out.

...Get your minds out of the gutter, it was just frosting (you dogs, you). And while you're at it, quit being overanalytical.

Anyhow, then it was Gear's turn, and…

"…The hell happened to you, dood?" the prinny felt inclined to ask this, as Gear seemed rather… drowsy. As in, she may as well have been sleepwalking – you really wouldn't have noticed a difference if she had been.

"I'm… (yawn) not sure…" she sleepily said, "I mean…"

-XO[]/\- _FLASHBACK – sometime prior to the current ridiculousness_

"_Um… Miss Nepgear?" a shy voice said._

_Gear turned to find Rom. "Oh, hello Rom. What is it?"_

"_Um… would you like… an energy drink…?" Rom held out a drink of some kind. "To get you energized for the next contest, I mean…"_

"_Uh… Sure, I guess." Gear took the drink and drank it. "Thank you, Ro- Rom…?" Rom had disappeared. "Goodness… where did she go?" Gear wondered for a minute, then "Well… I guess I should be getting to the next contest… (yawn)… Goodness, was I this sleepy before?" Gear then walked off, never noticing Rom hiding somewhere nearby._

_Rom stood there for a moment, then, somewhat shamefully, said, "…I can't believe I let Miss Uni talk me into this…"_

-XO[]/\- _FURASSHUBAKKU ENDU_

"(yawn) I don't know what could have happened…" Gear sleepily said. "Mmm…(zzz)"… and then promptly fell asleep.

"…Uh, I guess I'll choose for ya, dood." The prinny picked a cake and brought it over. The cake sat there like a lump. "…Looks like you're okay, dood." Gear roused slightly, then drowsily returned to the group.

Red took her turn, she was fine. 5pb wasn't so lucky, her cake having started to play a certain song about a certain day that starts with the letter 'F' from speakers inside it. She spent the next several minutes in the bathroom curled up in the fetal position.

Gear went… well, not really; the prinny had to choose for her again. She wound up fine.

Red's turn came again, she picked a cake, and the moment of truth came… wait, is it just me, or have we actually been taking this all vaguely seriously despite this minigame being about picking out friggin' _cakes_? It's just me, right…?

…

…Anyways, now that I've stalled for a moment to leave you in oh-so-much-suspense for a bit, the cake sprouted spider legs and scurried away, muttering something about taking over the surface world. Red was out.

"And the winner of this minigame is… Nepgear, doods!" The prinny somehow grabbed the sleepy Gear's hand with his flipper. "Let's all give her a hand!" Some light clapping was heard. Also some quiet cursing that, not to point fingers or anything, sounded like it came from Uni.

"Time for the next game, doods!... But first, Nep, stop drooling. You can have the leftover cake, dood."

"YAY! Cakies for Nep-Nep!"

-XO[]/\- Minigame 2: That Russian Comrade

The contestants stood in front of a bunch of arcade machines of a certain game from Russia (well, except Gear; she fell asleep on hers). If you don't know what game is being referred to, I suggest you brush up on your video game history. It's not every day a game comes from Russia, you know.

As if to make it any more obvious, though, the prinny said, "No Tetsris, Terists, or any of their cousins were harmed in the making of these games."

Then, as if to undermine the shady prinny, a small voice crying in pain and anguish could be heard from one of the machines.

The author avvie paused. "…Okay, maybe a few were harmed. Don't tell PETM (People for the Ethical Treatment of Monsters), dood."

"Getting back on track," the organizer of this weirdness said, "Simply enough, whoever gets the highest score and/or doesn't die wins, dood."

And so the contestants (sans Gear) got to playing. However, as the author is a lazy ass, we will now switch scenes so he doesn't have to describe anything. Though really, be honest, how exciting could describing a game of you-know-what possibly be?

Hell, I had to keep some coffee handy just to narrate the cake thing… certainly wouldn't surprise this narrator if some of you pulled a Gear and fell asleep…

-XO[]/\-

Underneath the stadium, Underling and Pirachu had found their way to a small room, where they were now hiding from Nisa.

"(pant, pant)… I think we lost her again…" Underling said, out of breath.

"Yeah, chump…" Pirachu looked around. "Uh… where are we _now_, chump?"

Underling joined her partner in crime in looking around the room, to notice that it was rather… ominous. It was extremely dark, with only some torches providing any light. These torches, glowing with unearthly blue flames, lit up a path to a sarcophagus at the back of the room. Behind this ancient coffin, the wall was adorned with a foreboding mural depicting an evil-looking little figure covered in dark flames.

"…We should have chosen somewhere else to hide," Underling said, a little blue in the face, "This place is creepy…"

"What do you mean 'we', chump? You chose this place, I just followed you."

Underling gave Pirachu an irritated look. "Hey, don't you try to pin this on me! Weren't _you_ the one in the lead?-!"

"Oh, so now your memory is going, chump? I always knew you were an old hag."

"Why you little…! One of these days, rat, _one of these days!_"

"What, chump? You'll die of old age?"

And as the dastardly duo bickered, neither one noticed the lid of the sarcophagus beginning to slide off, seemingly of its own volition…

-XO[]/\-

Back at the competition, we find…

"And the winner this time, through some truly wondrous stroke of luck, Nepgear again, dood!"

…Wait, what? So Gear, despite having been asleep the _whole time_, somehow managed to win? That is… amazing. Someone's been grinding their luck stat… and that someone definitely isn't Uni, who could be heard muttering something under her breath.

"Well doods, I do believe it's time to move on to the next minigame, then!"

-XO[]/\- Minigame 3: …What, we're still at this?... er, I mean, Dodgeballistic

The contestants were standing on two sides of a white line drawn in the ground. The still-drowsy-Gear was on one side, everyone else was on the other.

"This one's simple too, dood," the thingamapenguin explained, "It's four on one. The current leader of the pack, Nepgear, must evade dodgeballs thrown by you guys, Vert, 5pb, Red, and Compa, for about… thirty seconds or so, dood. If she gets hit, you guys each get a win. If she dodges everything, she wins this little competition and that's that. The catch is, Gear gets a trio of dogoos that'll guard her, too."

As the shady dood finished explaining, three dogoos hopped into place beside Gear, who didn't really appear to register their presence.

"Now start, dood!"

And so the foursome of Vert, 5, Red, and Compa began picking up dodgeballs (some more or less vigorously than others) and started thro-

"Heeey, narrator guy!"

…Eh? What is it, Nep? I'm busy, you know!

"Oh, don't worry, I'll be quick. So, um, I've been wondering something for a while now…"

…Yeah? And…?

"Since you're like, the narrator and all, does that mean you know what everyone's underwear looks like and stuff, since you're all-seeing or whatever?"

WHAT?-!

"Neptune!"

"Whaaat? It's totally a legit question, Noirey! This narrator guy could totally be pervin' on us behind our backs!"

"… You know, actually, you kind of have a point, Neptune…"

"I know, right? Especially since we gots no fourth wall an' all!"

…Why is everyone glaring at me? I didn't do anything, I swear! Put those weapons away! I'm innocent! I PLEAD THE FIFTH, DAMMIT!

"…What's that mean, Noirey?"

"Well Neptune, since Gamindustri is based on Japanese culture, and Japan has no 'Fifth Amendment', being that it's a purely American thing, it actually doesn't mean anything."

"…Oh. Coolios."

…Okay, that's it. This narrator is _out_, peace!

…

…

"GET BACK HERE, DOOD! I DON'T HAVE ANY OTHER NARRATORS ON STANDBY, SO TAKE YOUR DAMN LUMPS!"

Okay, okay, I'll keep narrating… can the girls at least keep their rage in until the end of the chapter? Okay, okay, I'm seeing nods… alright, I'll get back to more normal narrating now… ahem…

So, back at the game, it's… huh, it's already over. Wait a minute, was this another harebrained scheme by the author to weasel out of describing what was going on?-! I mean, switching scenes right before the previous minigame was bad enough, but now you somehow got Nep-

"I bribed her with candy, dood. Works every time."

"He's right! It totally does!"

"…Neptune, you really need to stop taking candy from strangers. N-Not that I'm worried or anything…"

"But I _like_ candy, Noirey!"

-to do your bidding … oh, fine, don't blame me if you lose your reader base for being lazy, you ass. I don't care.

Anyways, the asshole of an author avatar announced the winner of the third minigame.

"And the winner is… somehow, Nepgear won _again _despite still being sleepy as all get-out, dood! Man, them dogoos had some _mad_ dodgeball skillz, yo! And of course, having won three minigames, this means that Gear is the winner of the second contest, dood!"

…Whoa. Gear won? Again? She won all three minigames, and therefore the entire second contest, all while being drowsy, and, well, as a result… she pretty much won by doing _absolutely nothing_, didn't she?

…Wait a minute, why does that sound familiar? …Hold on, is this supposed to be a stupid punch line that's referencing something?

"…The pervert narrator has a point, _author_," Iffy (still tied to the pole… just felt like reminding you) growled, "_Is it?_"

"…Maybe, dood?"

I KNEW IT! How low will you go, huh?-! Geez. Are any of you readers willing to take over as narrator? No? Damn…

"And now I have yet _another_ reason to kill your ass the minute I'm free." Iffy said.

…Oh yeah, and in addition to all this, Uni could be seen banging her head on her seat. Noire chose to ignore it. She found the sight of Nep eating strawberries in the most sensual (and almost certainly purposeful) manner possible more appealing, anyway.

"So, lessee, dood…" the asshole prinny began, "Nepgear came in first, and everyone else tied in second. So, 10 points to Gear, and 8 to everyone else." The peg legged penguin calculated for a moment (yeah, believe it or not, he _is_ in fact capable of doing math), then said, "So now Gear has 18 points, as does Lyrica, Red has 14, Vert has 12, and Compa has 10."

And so, Gear and 5 are currently in the lead in this ridiculous little competition. After the prinny's announcement, he decided another break was to be had before moving on to the next game. And during this break, many things would happen… things that have little importance… so nothing happened, really.

The contestants would talk with each other and be competitive in a friendly manner…

"Goodness… so we're in the lead now?" Gear asked 5.

"Y-Yeah, looks like it." 5 responded.

"Hmm… well, this contest isn't over yet." Vert said, the competitive gamer in her talking.

"Oh… I hope I can get more points next time…" Compa lamented.

"Ah, don't worry!" Red enthusiastically said, "At least we're having fun, right?"

Uni pulled Rom aside about their… what could possibly be loosely called a plan…

"Dammit!" Uni grumped, "H-How did that even happen?-! I-I mean, I'm glad she won and all, but seriously!"

"I'm… still not sure about this, Miss Uni…" Rom said.

Seemingly ignoring her, Uni said, "Come on, let's think of something else…" and then grabbed Rom by the arm and dragged her off.

"B-But Miss Uni…!"

And the crowd did… stuff…

"Poke. Poke. Poke…" said Nep, staring intently at Noire's chest and… well, take a guess at what she was doing. I dare you.

"N-Neptune, w-will you stop that?-!" Noire shouted in a half-hearted tone.

Nep ignored her. "Poke. Poke. Poke…"

"…Too easy." Monotoned Cave, having unlocked and beaten all the bonus bosses and gotten the highest score on her game. And by 'beaten' I mean 'annihilated without ever getting hit once and without using any bombs, ever', and by 'highest score' I mean 'score that's so much ridiculously higher than everyone else's that you couldn't beat it even if you hacked the game.'

"…Where'd Rom go?" wondered Ram.

"I believe I saw Uni take her somewhere." Said Mina.

"Hmmm…" Ram got suspicious.

"Hng." Grunted Blanc. Who was still reading her obviously-porn. So, as to that grunt and what it may entail… oh, you dogs, you.

"Checkmate." Said Kei.

"Darn." Said Histy.

"When's my dearest Vert going to win so we can get this over with already…" Chika whined.

Falcom didn't say anything; she just whistled merrily while continuing to polish her sword.

Gust was still peddling her wares, this time to another out-of-nowhere cameo named 'Vamp' (though this person's nickname was apparently 'Sria' or some such). 'Vamp' purchased a set of slightly overpriced Candidate nendos, after which he disappeared to wherever cameo people disappear to after they've cameoed (I'm gonna guess Antarctica).

So yeah, pretty uneventful stuff going on in the stadium.

However, _under_ the stadium is another matter…

-XO[]/\-

"Where are those hoodlums hiding…" Nisa wondered as she wandered the halls of the oddly temple-like area under the stadium.

"CHUUU!"

"Huh?-!" Nisa whirled around to find the sight of Pirachu hurriedly running away from something.

Nisa leapt into action. "Halt, villain!" she shouted, striking a 'halt'-type pose.

"RUN FOR YOUR LIFE, CHUMP!" Pirachu ignored the heroine and ran right past her, completely and utterly terrified.

"…Eh? What just-" Nisa started, dumbfounded, before a sinister wave of dark energy erupted from the direction Pirachu had been running from, releasing an ominous humming noise, the kind of hum that either great power or machines would give off. And it's probably not a machine.

"…What in Superman's cape…?" the heroine wondered, somewhat apprehensively, before gaining a determined expression and running toward the dark energy, fully intending on going Leeroy Jenkins on whatever was releasing it.

Charging into the room Underling and Pirachu had been hiding in earlier, Nisa was greeted with a sinister sight.

The heroine's eyes widened.

-XO[]/\-

Level 6 end

-XO[]/\-

_Episode Preview:_

_Etna: Sneaking through the night, Phantom Thief Etna makes her entrance!_

_Iffy (still, you guessed it, tied to the pole): Okay, ignoring her… What the hell did the author build the stadium on top of…?_

_Etna: Dazzling onlookers with her beauty, Phantom Thief Etna steals from the rich and gives to herself!_

_Iffy: What could Nisa be fighting down there?_

_Etna: And now, she's preparing for her greatest heist ever!_

_Iffy: And, hell, what happened to Underling?_

_Etna: Next time on Sly Etna, Thievius Demoness: "The Case That'll Never be Closed! Etna's Ultimate Heist!"_

_Iffy: I wonder how many ways you can kill an exploding penguin…_

-XO[]/\-

AN: And another chapter comes to a close! What has Nisa encountered? What happened to whatsherface - Under-something-or-other? What is the secret of the stadium's catacombs? Has the 'Adventure' part of the genre and title finally come into play? Stay tuned, doods!

Welp, if the last chap was the 'Mario Kart' chap, I guess this'd be the 'Mario Party' one. In fact, the three minigames are all based on (read: ripped off from) various Mario Party (mini)games. Yeah, I know, loloriginality, huh?

The 'absolutely nothing' bit is referring to a collection of videos on Youtube wherein Luigi wins various minigames in various Mario Parties by... you guessed it, doing absolutely nothing. No player input whatsoever. And unlike this chap's crappy punch line, the actual videos are actually quite amusing; if you haven't seen them, then go watch them, dood. Like nao. :)


	7. IH 4: Xtreme(ly Weird) Sports

AN: Aaand, after all those months, the main fic is back in action! Though in my defense, at least I broke up the monotony with the Halloween and Christmas specials. If you haven't read 'em, go an' do it, doods! XD

So, review res-

Red: Hey, author guy!

Zdood: Eh?

Red (pouting): You forgot about me in the Halloween one!

Zdood:…Eh? Really? Lemme check, dood… ah, crap, I did. Not even a mention, derp. How about I make it up to you later by giving you a chapter/episode/level centered around you and Iffy or something after this arc is over, but before the next one?

Red: Really?! Yay! Thanks!

Zdood: No prob, dood. Least I could do for a bein' a dumbass. XD Might hafta go back an' fix that later…

…But that's for later. For now, review response time!

_Eyeshield_: Yeah, Neptunia nendos in a Nendoroid Generation game prolly would be quite fun. XD Also, I'm pretty sure Neptunia qualifies as shonen, maybe seinen, kinda like Lyrical Nanoha. If it were shoujo, romance would be more prevalent in it. Also, your braindeath amuses me. Mwahaha. XD

_Some Random Tosser_: All will be explained in… soon. XD Eh… in regards to fourth wall stuff, it's probably worth noting that this will almost undoubtedly be the most random arc anyway; later stuff will be a bit more grounded, though still quite lighthearted and silly for the most part.

_Fyre1234_: Thanks, dood. :)

_Endlos Nacht_: I got a present for ya… XD

_Blackrokfollower_: Thanks, dood. :)

_Hydrocity3_: Iffy will be released… eventually. XD The enemy… will be revealed eventually. XD What? I ain't gonna spoil my own fic! XD

_Liexi_: She's reading whatever obviously-pervy book you want her to read. ;) Anyways, thanks dood. :)

_Wdog-999_: Thanks. And wait an' find out. XD

_Guest_: Yeah, I see whatcha mean (honestly, he's starting to annoy me, too, and I _made_ the guy XD). Funny you should mention that, though, since, well… for one, read this chap, and for another, this is the only arc the annoying prinny has any sort of major role in anyway; in the future he's gonna be pretty much just regulated to occasional, brief appearances that end in his exploding, for the most part. XD Anyways, thanks for pointing that out, and like I said, it prolly won't be much of an issue in the future. :)

-XO[]/\-

Level 7 – **Xtreme(…ly Weird) Sports** – Start!

-XO[]/\-

"HEEELLOOOO PEOPLEEEEES!"

…Ow, who's shouting in my ear? I was having a nice nap. Can't really blame me, considering how long it's been for this main story since the last update (for the people who came in too far after the fact to know what the heck I'm talking about, well, it was a while). I hope the characters have been playing ping-pong or something to pass the time. Seriously, what happens to fanfic characters while they wait for updates…?

…Eh? You're tired of my rambling and wanna see the actual characters doing stuff? Oh, fine.

So, we find the annoying prin- hold on a tic, that's Neptune holding the announcer mike! Okay, what'd I miss? I thought the author was using an avatar for this… though I doubt anyone is really complaining.

"Oh, Zdood said he was busy with 'something that's totally not sinister or relevant at all, totally, stop asking Neptune, and I'll give you some candy, and also I'll give you more candy if you take up the announcer job for me… dood' and then I took up this job for him! Oh, but not after squeezing some pancakes out of 'im. Girl's gotta have her pancakes, you know." Neptune nodded sagely after that bit of exposition.

…All this candy-giving is just begging for tasteless pedophilia jokes. Come on, I can't be the only one thinking it. A shades-wearing creep giving candy to a young (probably, I think, who knows) girl? You do the math.

"Yo, Nep! A little help?"

Ah, yes, Iffy is still pole-tied, isn't she?

"Hm? Oh, sure Iffy! I'm on my merry little way!"

Walking up to Iffy's pole… that's some disturbing double entredre there for the more depraved-minded… Nep grabbed the ropes in order to free her, but…

BZZZZT! "Ack!"

She was comically electrocuted… somehow. Aren't those ropes made of… whatever ropes are normally made of? Like animal hair or something? Also, you know how in cartoons electrocuted people tend to get their x-rays shown? …Nep's brain is a chainsaw-wielding hamster on a motorcycle riding in a wheel while dueling a dual-katana-wielding monkey on another motorcycle in another wheel… apparently.

…Well, it certainly explains her randomness.

Anyways, so now Nep is lying on the ground, charred. Iffy sighed.

"…Dammit. Figures. You alright, Nep?"

The goddess shakily gave a thumbs up. "…Peachy…"

"I suppose you should go do your announcer thing, then…"

And so, after a brief moment of recovery, Neptune did just that.

"Well folks, according to this here doodad Zdood gave me," the purplette waved a sheet of paper in the air, "It's time for an over-the-top, wacked-out sports game! Oooh, this is gonna be fun!"

And thus the third game begins!

…What happened to Nisa, though? You'd think after such a long absence the author'd have the decency to follow up on that cliffhanger… eh, I guess we'll find out later.

-XO[]/\-

The sound of a whistle tore through the air, courtesy of Neptune, who was holding a soccer ball. Or rather a football, for the more European-inclined. No Balancer-type monsters were harmed in the obtaining of this item. Please ignore that pitiful whimpering in the background, I'm sure it's nothing.

"Alright everyone! Let's play some ball! I'll be the ref, of course."

"Um, Excuse me, Sis…" Gear raised her hand.

"Huh? What's happenin', Nep Jr.?"

"Are you even qualified to referee?"

Nep looked offended… sort of, not really. "Wha? Of course I am, Nep Jr.! I totally know how to call things, like home runs and slam dunks and touchdowns and stuff!"

The contestants chuckled nervously. Not a single one of those things had anything to do with soccer… non-American football… whatever.

"Neptune?" 5pb asked.

"Eh? Wazzap now?"

"Didn't we already do something sports-related last chapter?"

Nep blinked. "Yeah, but it was just dodgeball."

Lyrica was a little hesitant. "But… we still did something sports-related, right…?"

Nep blinked again. "But it was just dodgeball. Do they, like, have big dodgeball tournaments or bowls or whatever, now?"

5 sweatdropped a bit. "Um… I guess not…?"

Nep grinned. "Welp, with that stuff outta the way, I'mma decide the teams!"

Neptune looked over the players-to-be. "Um, okay, lessee… uh… Nep Jr., Vertie-Vert, and Reddy-Red are on… uh… Team Sah-weet, and Fivey and Compa are on… uh, Team Schweet!" A beat… brilliantly creative, Nep. "Sounds coolios to me."

Vert raised a hand. "Neptune, the teams are uneven."

"Huh? Oh, right, uh…" Nep started to think. I can only imagine what the chainsaw hamster and katana monkey that are her brain are doing. "Hang on a sec."

As Nep ran off to find another player, conversing occurred in the stands, mostly between the oracles. Also Noire seemed to be a little annoyed that the lavendette had to leave her side, but maybe that's just me.

"…What seems to be the matter, Histoire?" asked Kei.

The fairy in question was deep in thought. "Hm… I believe I've been feeling some kind of dark power nearby, but it seems rather muffled and faint…"

"Strange… are you certain?"

Histy nodded. "Yes. And it is merely compounded by something else odd I've been feeling…"

Kei raised an eyebrow ever-so-slightly. "And what might that be?"

"I cannot shake the feeling that this location is… familiar somehow."

Kei spoke with a faint tinge of sarcasm. "And why did you not bring this up before?"

"I didn't think much of it at the time, but with that dark presence on the edge of my senses, I cannot help but wonder if there may be more to it; it intensifies that feeling of familiarity…" Histoire began to search through her pages. "Perhaps an answer may lie within my tome…"

Kei nodded a bit. "I do not know what you are feeling, but it is best to be prepared regardless of what it might be."

And with that bit of foreshadowing out of the way, Neptune conveniently returned with another player. Eh, we'd have to wait for about 3 minutes for Histy to find anything anyway, I'm sure.

"Okay Team Schweet! Here's your new player!" The ditz shouted enthusiastically. Beside her was none other than… dramatic drumroll, suspenseful music, cool special effects, other miscellaneous padding in an attempt to keep you on the edge of your seats… are you annoyed that the player hasn't been revealed yet? I'm not revealing them until you're annoyed with waiting.

…

…

…Actually, on second thought I'd rather not piss off Goddess knows how many people. Okay, okay, the player's Uni… but we all know the _real_ player here's Iffy, amirite? …I'll go to my corner now.

So… the Candidate smirked a bit. '_You won't win this one, Nepgear!_' she thought. She's still going through with that zany scheme? Rom is probably sighing in the background somewhere…

Nepgear was somewhat nervous about facing off with Uni (which likely wasn't particularly helped by her smirk), but she assured herself, '_It's just a friendly game of soccer…er, football… um, yeah…who named these things, anyways?_'

Neptune smiled. "Welp, let's –"

"Um!" 5pb interjected. "Don't we still need goalies?"

Nep paused for a moment, the monkey and hamster in her head churning… or perhaps dueling. "Uh, hang on a sec."

-XO[]/\-

A scant few minutes later, Nep had recruited/drafted Cave as the goalie for Team Sah-weet, and Falcom as Team Schweet's goalie; Cave hadn't really cared much, and Falcom was only a little hesitant. And now they stood, along with their teammates, on opposite ends of a soccer (football?... okay, you know what, this gag, if it can be called that, is getting old. Henceforth, this blasted game shall be known as Soccball) field. A field that may or may not have been there before; we seem to be having some trouble with the whole 'non-visual medium' thing again.

Neptune, on the sidelines, was about ready to start things up. The ball sat in the middle of the field, with Gear and Uni, apparently on the offensive, on either side of it. Gear looked a bit nervous, though had some determination in there somewhere. Uni looked quite pumped.

Glancing across both teams, Nep asked, "So, you guys ready?" After getting an affirmative all around, the ditz smiled, and grabbed her whistle…

...Oh, before we go on, have you all heard of Touhou Soccer? Certainly as fans of the niche you probably have. No? How about Super Mario Strikers? Surely you've heard of that. If not, think of Gurren Lagann awesomeness as applied to Soccball. If you don't know what Gurren Lagann is… first I pity you and you should watch it, second just imagine Soccball on lots of steroids and potent hallucinogens. Got an image in your head? Okay, get this: what will shortly ensue will be even more over-the-top and wacked-out than that. Hopefully. Probably. You should properly prepare yourselves, just in case. The author'd rather not have anyone sue him over testosterone poisoning, in the event that he actually pulls it off.

…You ready? Okay then, aaand… Neptune blew the whistle with a mighty breath.

TWEEEET!

"HAH!" Uni shouted, stealing the ball away and dashing towards Team Sah-weet's goal, intending to gain an early lead.

"Uh-oh!" Gear worried.

"I got this!" Red exclaimed as she attempted to steal the ball away.

"I don't think so!" Uni said, before kicking the ball in the air with a mighty… er, kick.

THWACK! "Hiyah!"

As Uni jumped up after it, Red wound up charging right underneath her. The redhead gaped as she looked up. Whether it was from Uni's moves or getting an upskirt shot of the Candidate, I'll leave up to you.

"Heh." Uni smirked, "Eat this!" Pulling out her huge frakkin' gun, she began unloading on the poor soccball ball with intense fervor.

BANG! …. And lots of 'em!

"This'll finish it!" And Lastation's Candidate unleashed a rather large laser beam upon the ball that began carrying it to Team Sah-weet's goal.

As the ball hurdled towards her, Cave simply stood there, arms crossed and unmoving, as the ball (which, mind you, was moving at something like the speed of sound) got ever closer, closer…!

BOOM! A large explosion blasted out as the ball reached its destination. And when the smoke cleared…!

Uni (now on the ground) gaped. "…No freaking way."

Cave hadn't even budged from her spot. The only part of her that had moved was her left arm, which was held up, a single finger stretched out… and the ball had been stopped by that one finger. Well, mostly; it was still spinning. The Maker smiled just a teeny bit, taking the ball into both of her hands.

"The hell?! What are you, Aizen?!" Uni shouted.

Cave replied, in a near-monotone that somehow made her sound hammier and more badass, "Aizen? Aizen is my _bitch_."

"Excuse me, Neptune," Vert asked suddenly, "but are things like that even allowed?"

Neptune, who had taken out a laptop and chair (which she was sitting in) from… her inventory, yeah, let's go with that… replied, "Huh? Oh, yeah, sure, whatevs. Anything goes an' all that noise. Keep playin' and stuff and let me read mah Neptunia fanfic… Hah! That guy has man boobies!" …She's not even paying attention to the game, is she?

Iffy, who… oh, you should know this already… said, "I shudder to think of what you're reading that involves that. But then again, I feel like I'm missing some context here…"

"May we resume? I wish to crush our opposition into dust. And then that dust into atoms. And then reduce those atoms to complete and utter nonexistence." Cave said, still mostly in monotone. Goddess, was that badass or what? Also, Team Schweet involuntarily shivered.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Nep offhandedly answered. "Hmmm… I want a robot doggie, too…"

"Very well." Cave said, beginning to glow with power. "_Black Label_."

"OH SHI-" Uni shouted out as Team Schweet was subjected to complete and utter bullet hell of the ninth circle.

BANG! … yeah, there's a lotta that here, too.

As Team Schweet attempted to dodge and weave their way through the barrage of energy blasts (key word, of course, being 'attempted'), somewhere in the chaos the soccball rolled toward their goal, ever so leisurely. Nepgear eventually spotted it.

"I got it!" She got possession of the spotted object and began running.

Uni gasped. "No you don't!" And then she chased after her fellow Candidate.

As for Lyrica and Compa, uh… they were kinda too busy ducking low to the ground to actually do much (though it's probably worth noting that the shots seemed to go out of their way to avoid actually hitting the two, especially 5). Gear ran past them with no problems. Uni was closing in on her.

Falcom steeled herself, readying her sword and releasing a battle aura in anticipation. '_Okay, she's probably going to try something big, seeing as this is apparently anything goes. I better make sure I'm ready for i-!_'

ZING!

"Eh?" Falcom wondered, before looking behind her to see the ball in the net. "…Huh?"

"Goal!" Gear exclaimed joyously.

"Crud!" Uni shouted, having been unable to reach the lavendette in time.

"H-How did you get the ball past me so easily?" Falcom asked, amazed. "Did you use some kind of super-speedy attack? Is it a new technique you learned recently?"

Gear answered, rather awkwardly, "Uh… Falcom, I just used a normal kick…"

Falcom stared blankly for a minute. "…Wuh?" '_I was expecting something big, and she goes for something low-key… I guess it just caught me off-guard… in hindsight, I probably should've known better than to think Nepgear would go for something flashy, she's not that kind of girl…_'

"Um… anyway," the adventuress said as she grabbed the ball, "1-0, Team Sah-weet's favor." She tossed the ball back into play.

"Um, I'll get it!" said 5pb as she began playing a rather wicked guitar solo that quite starkly contrasted her timid tone.

…I'd put a sound effect here, but really, it's kinda hard for me to visualize guitar noises. You should all know what an awesome guitar solo sounds like anyway…

And with a final strum of the strings, the ball was carried away on a powerful sound wave to Team Sah-weet's side of the field.

"Hmph!" Vert wielded her spear, "_Synthet Spear_!" Lauching energy spear at the ball, it got blasted into the air.

Red leapt up to take things from there, brandishing a large toy hammer. "Hup…" She wound up for the swing, "HAH!"

SMACK! Aaaand home run!... Wait, wrong sport.

The ball went sailing back to Team Schweet's side, but then was hit by a heart-shaped blast.

"Yah!" Exclaimed Compa.

"Okay, let's try this again!" Uni said as she jumped up after the still-airborne ball. "_NGP_!"

…Lots and lots of BOOOOM!

The ball began sailing towards Cave again. She just stood there with her arms crossed like last time.

"Not this time!" Uni dashed after her ball, intending to give it another blast as insurance.

Sensing what the Candidate was up to, Cave brought out her… floating metal things, you know, the ones that let her fire that one beam attack.

"_Full Burst Option._" The Maker said, launching said beam.

"Tch!" Uni fired off a beam of her own in response.

The two beams met and, naturally, a Beam-O-War began, with that poor soccball caught in the middle.

'…_I hate my life…_'

…Eh, who was that? Was it the ball? …Nah, no way… or maybe…?

Eh, whatever. This narrator's got more important things to do, like figuring out how to decently execute a Beam-O-War sequence in a fanfic. Those animated shows make it look so easy…

So, let's see… the two beams, a reddish one from Cave and a blue-ish one from Uni, clashed for several moments, neither one definitively gaining dominance over the other. Though that said, Uni seems to be putting a lot of effort into it, whereas Cave hardly seems fazed… maybe she's just good at hiding her exertion?

… Or, you know. Maybe she's related to Chuck Norris. Or possibly Abridged Popo. Let's go with the 'good at hiding exertion' one, though. Makes for better dramatic tension.

However, before either beam could beat out the other, a pair of explosions suddenly came from underneath the two combatants.

BOOM!

"Hm?/Huh?" Said Cave and Uni, respectively, as they got blasted.

The two beams, now unmanaged, then proceeded to explode as well, sending the soccball high into the air.

BOOM!

As the smoke cleared once more, Uni had landed on her backside, a little frazzled, but okay. Cave was still standing in the same spot, apparently unaffected, though she was now a bit dirtied up.

"What the heck caused those explosions?" asked Uni as she got up, looking from side to side.

Cave began to do the same, evidently wondering the same thing, when –

BOINK!

"Hm?" She grunted puzzledly, as she felt something hit her head, and then she looked behind herself.

There sat the ball in the goal.

Cave stared at it for a moment. "…Damn. 1-1."

"Yes!" exclaimed Uni, "Now, what caused those explosions?"

"Hiiii!" Neptune hollered from the sidelines, holding some sort of controller, "Zdood gave me this controller thingy for my referee job! I think he breast-trapped the field or something!"

"It's '_booby_-trapped, Nep!" Iffy corrected the ditz.

"Huh? Iffy, if you want some boobies, you're gonna hafta wait 'till we're done here, you horndog, you!" Neptune… possibly trolled, I'm not sure.

Iffy looked indignant. "_What_?! You know full well that's not what I said!"

"Hey, what's this one do?" Nep pressed a button on her controller.

"Hey! Don't ignore me!" IF shouted angrily.

"Hm?" Gear wondered as she felt something beneath her feet.

BOOM!

"Yay, more explosions!" Neptune began… and then she realized something "… Waitaminnit, Nep Jr.! Oh, crapbaskets! Sorry!"

"AAAAAH!" The poor candidate screamed as she sailed through the air from the apparently stronger explosion, and then…

"OOF!" shouted Uni as Gear landed on her.

"Ow!" shouted Gear as she landed on Uni.

…Huh, that's a rather interesting position. Gear's butt is currently sitting on Uni's face. That is to say, Lastation's Candidate currently has a face-full of Gear's panties. …How tasteful.

Gear got off her friend, worried. "Oh, I'm so sorry, Uni! Are you alright?!"

Uni, still lying on the ground seemed to be fine… save for a nosebleed. Which I rather doubt is from being landed on. Also, extreme blush is extreme. "F…Fine…"

"Goodness, your nose is bleeding…" Thank you Gear, it's not like I said that already…

"H-Huh?! N-No it's not! I-I wasn't enjoying that or anything!" Uni stammered ever-so-tsundere-ly as she rose, before… er… sniffing her nosebleed blood back up into her nose... wait a minute, she's not sniffing it up, it's going back in by itself! What the _hell_?!

…Okay, firstly, that's gross. Seriously, blech. Secondly, my Goddess, even her _nosebleeds_ are tsundere! That's gotta be some kind of world record…

Gear looked just a bit bewildered. "… I never said you were enjoying it…"

Uni blushed even harder somehow. "U-Um, w-well, that is… ugh! Can we just get back to the game already?!"

"As you wish," responded Cave, kicking the ball over to Vert.

"Synthet Spear!"

BOOM! And the ball goes flying once again. …Does anyone else hear screams of agony and anguish?

"Ah, damn!" Uni darted after it.

"W-Wait, Uni! Oh goodness…" Nepgear chased after her, putting the nosebleed thing at the back of her mind, where it may or may not be forgotten later. Depends on what the author feels like doing, I guess.

As the ball sailed into Team Schweet's end of the field, it was suddenly accosted by a pack of robotic dogs.

"_Metal Wooper_!" 5pb proclaimed, siccing the spherical dogs (including one giant one) on the ball.

"Ah geez!" Uni gasped before throwing herself out of the dogs' way. "Watch it, will ya! I'm on _your_ team!"

"S…Sorry…" Lyrica said, embarrassed.

"Oh goodness…" Gear leapt out of the way, soon followed by Red and Vert.

Cave, once again, just stood there, facing the large pack of robo-dogs unflinchingly. I predict something badass is about to happen.

The SMD member, quite simply, said, "_Black Label._"

…Aaaand here we go again with the BOOMS and the BANGS and the attempts at dodging. Oh, and the Woopers were all obliterated by the barrage, except for their giant leader, who continued his (its?) charge, soccball in tow.

Cave just held out her left hand to one side, summoning a robotic bee.

She then did the same with her other hand, bringing forth a second robo-bee.

Calmly staring down the large dogbot barreling towards her, she brought the two robot bees together to make a beam cannon.

And, as the giant Wooper and ball were upon her, "Prepare to be euthanized."

BOOM went the massive-ass laser, pushing against the giant dog robot for several moments, before the artificial beast lost its footing, and proceeded to get its spherical shape used against it. That is to say, there are now _two_ balls blasting across the field, right to Falcom.

Readying herself once more, she clasped her sword between her hands.

"Come on… come on…" The two balls getting ever-closer, closer…

Falcom closed her eyes, before quickly snapping them open again. "Now!" With a mighty swing of her blade, she halted the Metal Wooper's involuntary advance.

"Ergh!" The adventuress struggled against the metallic beast for a few moments, her sword grinding against its body before, summoning her strength –

"HAH!" SLICE! BOOM!

The large robot, and the beam behind it, were cut in twain, exploding as they fell apart and lauching the miraculously-intact soccball high into the air. Uni quickly made her way over to it and leapt up to blast it back to the other end of the field.

"Ready… aim…" She prepared to pull her gun's trigger. "FI-"

"Hiii-YAH!" Red interrupted, giving the ball a powerful kick, sending flying down to Team Schweet's goal.

"Dammit!" Uni shouted. Red just gave a victory sign back. Payback for earlier, perhaps?

"What does this one do?" asked Nep as she randomly decided to push another button on her controller.

All the players suddenly began floating in the air.

Nep stared, smiling. "…Antigravity. Awesomesauce."

Falcom glanced around her due to the sudden change, but quickly refocused herself on the ball. She slashed at it again.

"Hyah!... huh?"

…Yeeeah, due to the messed-up gravity mucking with the ball's speed, she made a bit of a miscalculation. That is to say, she missed, and the ball kept going.

"…Ah man, not again…" Yes, Falcom, again. The ball landed in Team Schweet's goal.

The adventuress sighed. "2-1, Team Sah-weet's favor."

Not but a moment later, the gravity decided to go back to normal and drop everyone on their butts.

Falcom picked up the ball, which appeared to have water dripping from it for no discernible reason… the hell, is it crying or something? But, before the redhead could put it back into play, Nep decided to press another button.

"Boop!" She chirped.

"SUDDEN DEATH MODE INITIATED. NEXT POINT WINS." Came an imposing robotic voice from, apparently, the controller.

Nep just smiled again. Falcom, on the other hand looked rather more unsure. "Um… Doesn't that kinda make everything up to this point, well… pointless?"

"NO QUESTIONS, INFIDEL!"

"…Eh?"

And from up in the heavens came a mighty lightning bolt. Guess who it smote?

ZAP! "GAAAH! I'M GONNA MURDER THAT DAMN PENGUIN!"

If you guessed Falcom… you were actually wrong, it hit Iffy. Was it because of the pole-she's-tied-to's height? Does the controller have bad eyesight and require glasses? …Or is that annoying prinny just a dick?

"THAT IS WHAT SHALL BEFALL YOU IF YOU QUESTION THE MIGHTY CONTROLLER-SAMA AGAIN!"

"…G-Got it…"

Oh, it was a Blofeld Ploy; making an example of someone. I see now. Still pretty sure the author's a dick, though.

"Wow," said a dazzled Nep, "now, more buttons!" And so she pushed another, and then another.

The first caused several gouts of flame to crop up on the field, intermittently shooting the hot stuff upward.

The second caused tears in space to start opening up randomly all over the field, acting as portals to… all over the every other part of the field. How confusing.

After the players spent a few seconds gaping, Falcom said, "Well, here goes nothing," And then gave the soccball a good slice right into one of the portals.

It went flying out of another, bouncing off Compa's head…

BONK! "Owwie!"

"Sorry!" shouted a sheepish Falcom.

Got a good smack from 5pb's guitar into another portal.

THWACK! '_VENGEANCE SHALL ONE DAY BE MIIIINE_!'

…Eh? What? Who? Was it really…?

Erm… anyways, from that portal, it shot out of one that caused it bounce off Compa's head a _second_ time from a different angle that caused it to go in the direction of Team Sah-weet's half of the field.

BONK! "Owwie! …Again…"

"Sorry!" shouted an embarrassed 5pb.

"Heh," smirked Uni, who fired a shot at the ball to keep it going.

BANG! The soccball whizzed toward Cave, but from a nearby portal emerged Red, who gave it good whack with her toy hammer… or would've if a gout of flame hadn't impeded her.

"Ack! Hot! And not in a good way!"

"Don't worry, I've got it!" exclaimed Vert, giving her spear a few good twirls before stabbing at the ball and bouncing it away.

"Hyah!" Went Uni as she burst out of a nearby portal and the spotted sphere another good blast of her gun, sending it sailing towards Cave.

BANG!

Cave didn't even so much as glance at it. Not that she needed to, seeing as a portal conveniently opened beside her and spit the ball back out near Nepgear. Girl's got some _mad_ women's intuition…

"Tch…" frowned Uni as she ran after the object of her affection, who was now running with the ball back to Team Schweet's side of the field.

As Gear ran, she weaved through several geysers of flame. Left, right, left, right she dodged, maneuvering the ball through the dangerous maze, Uni slowly catching up to her. As to why she didn't shoot at Gear… what, you really think she'd shoot _Gear_? What are you, nuts? The same could be said for Compa not shooting her syringe, too.

5pb ran up to the lavendette to try to stop her, though a flame spout stopped her from doing so.

"Eek!" She squeaked as the flames (which, I assure you, would only result in comedic charring had they actually connected. Probably should've mentioned that earlier…) unexpectedly cropped up, causing her to fall on her behind.

BOOM! A quick laser blast from Cave swiftly destroyed the offending spout.

Looking to her friend, 5pb gratefully said, "Th-Thanks."

Cave just nodded. …Wait, isn't 5pb on the other side of the field? How did Cave hear her? The singer didn't exactly shout.… Oh, whatever. LolMemeticBadassery, there, explained, get off my back.

And, back to the main action, Nepgear and Uni were neck-in-neck as the two barreled towards Falcom, competing over the ball. Falcom readied herself to defend the goal.

"This is kind of like our sparring matches, huh Uni?" Gear mentioned casually.

Uni nodded, determined look on her face. "I guess it is. And I'm gonna do my best to win this!"

With that, Gear also developed a determined expression. Smiling, she said "I'll do my best, too."

Their feet vying for control of the ball (is it just me, or do you guys also hear angry shouting?), it exchanged control a few times, before, with a final kick, Planeptune's Candidate launched it at the goal.

Falcom got ready to slash at it, but then a portal opened up in front of her, the ball flying into it.

"Eh?" She questioned.

And from there, something… weird… occurred.

Shooting out of a portal on the other end of the field, it smacked Red in the head.

"Ack!"

From there, it ricocheted into another portal that deposited the ball into 5pb's back.

"Oof!"

And from _there_, it bounced off into another portal, and burst through one that was by Cave, who… ducked down just before the rift shot the soccball at her.

…Well, like I said before, gal's got some _mad_ women's intuition... Must come from playing a lot of bullet hell games…

"Hmph."

Anyways, the ball missed but wound up going into yet _another_ portal that caused the ball to pop out of a tear by Compa, once again hitting the poor girl in her noggin.

"Ouchies! Number three…"

And it still wasn't done, as the errant soccball continued its epic journey into a space hole that led to one near Vert. Naturally, it hit her as well…

"Oh my."

…In her breasts, of all places. Yup, lodged in there quite nicely. But then apparently physics decided to catch up with it and the bounciness of the goddess' boobs, well… bounced the sphere right on out of the flotation devices and into, guess what? Another friggin' portal, which spat it out at Gear and Uni, where it promptly decked the lavendette's cranium, ricocheted into her companion's head, and bounced into… not a portal, actually. But it _did_ fly over a flame spout just as it released a gout of flame, and _that_ launched the soccball into a portal. Hell of a coincidental chain of events going on here…

"Ow!/Gah!"

And from there, the ball… kinda disappeared. The various players looked around for it, but it seemed to be gone. But, of course… wait for it…

"Hm?" questioned Falcom when she felt something odd. She looked down, just as a small portal decided to spawn right in front of her and blasted the ball right between her legs and into the goal.

And, with that, I must say: TILT!

The adventuress whirled around and gave the soccball a dumbfounded look. Blinking, she said, "…I think I need to train more…"

"SUDDEN DEATH MODE OVER. TEAM SAH-WEET WINS. FATALITY." Announced the bizarre controller.

"Yay! That was so coolspice!" cheered Nep.

…Er, 'coolspice'…? Oh, whatever. It's no weirder than anything else she says…

Also, rather impressive that we got through that whole bit without making any Portal references, huh? ….Wait a minute… DAMN IT! I just did! Fail of the… next few weeks, right there.

Anyways, the crowd actually let out a bit of applause after that rather impressive game of Soccball. Some of the more energetic onlookers, like Ram and Chika, even let out cheers.

"Alright! Scorin' time!" exclaimed Nep, "Let's see what lovely lady Iffy'll get ta score with!"

"HEY!" …No points for guessing whose indignant yell that was.

-XO[]/\-

A little after that… Cave and Falcom returned to their seats in the crowd as Neptune gathered up the contestants for scoring.

"That was so much fun!" shouted an ecstatic Red.

Vert giggled. "Indeed it was, though I would've preferred doing all that in a video game."

"That ball was a meanie, though…" whined Compa. Considering that she got hit by the ball three friggin' times, you can't really blame her…

"I thought it was kinda scary… but it was also kinda exhilarating!" said 5pb.

"Yeah, that was a great game, Uni." Gear smiled at her friend.

"Yeah. It was." Uni smiled back. '_Too bad my plan didn't work, though… oh well…_' Turning around, Lastation's Candidate said, "Well, I'm gonna head back to my seat," and she did just that, waving to Gear (who waved back) as she did so.

After Uni left, Nep said, "Okie-dokie, then! Now, how to do the score stuff… hmmm…"

As the gears… or rather, the hamster and monkey, I guess… in her head churned, however, the ground began to quake.

"Um… is that my stomach rumbling, or is the ground shaking?" Nep asked. As if in response, the quaking proceeded to get violent. "…Okay, not my stomach."

As the competitors struggled to keep their footing, a massive explosion from the ground rocked the stadium, accompanied by a demonic roar.

BOOOOM! "**GRAAAAH!**"

-XO[]/\-

Level 7 end

-XO[]/\-

_Episode Preview:_

_?: __**Give me… the center…!**_

_Iffy: The center?! The hell is that?!_

_?: __**Graaah!**_

_Iffy: Dammit, what is this thing…?_

_Gear: What's going on?!_

_Vert: I think the final battle of this arc is at hand…_

_Compa: I-I'm scared!_

_Red: Don't worry, we'll come out on top! I'm sure of it!_

_5pb: I hope so…_

_?: __**All of you… I'll kill all of you!**_

_Iffy and Co: Next time on Hyperdimensional Adventures, the 'Iffy's Harem' arc's grand finale: "Love Hurts!" Stay tuned, everyone! _

_Etna: So, like, if I'm done here, can you guys get the author to pay me now? I didn't cameo in all those other previews out of the goodness of my heart, you know…_

-XO[]/\-

AN: …It occurs to me that I could've made an Inazuma Eleven reference in here somewhere if I'd wanted to, but eh, whatever. XD It would've just been something along the lines of 'This will be like Inazuma Eleven, except with actual girls instead of girly-looking bishonen,' anyway. XD

Hmmm... first Mario Kart, then Mario Party... I guess this'd be the Mario Sports (specifically Strikers) chap, then. :)

The 'Iffy's Harem' arc comes to a close next time, folks; you'll finally get to see who/what the mysterious enemy is! Look forward to it! :)


	8. IH 5: Love Hurts (part 1)

Disclaimer: stuff.

AN: Hello hello, and also konnichi wa my loyal readers! I'm back with the finale of the Iffy's Harem arc!

…Well, the first part of it, anyway. Yeeeah, I split it into two parts. I'll explain why in the end-of-chap AN, but that said… one reason for it was, quite simply, 'cause it's been a while and I wanna give you guys sumthin' ta read. :)

Anyways, review response time!

_Some Random Tosser_: RESEARCH IS FOR NERDS! ...Wait, I _am_ a nerd… uhhh… RESEARCH IS FOR JOCKS! RAWR!

_Hydrocity3_: Yeah, Cave's gonna become a Memetic Badass even if it kills me! XD Anyways, thanks, and for Nisa… read. XD

_ChromaLuke_: Thanks, and as I said to Hydro, read. :)

_Ghostdominion6_: Thankies, dood. :)

_FireKiller87_: Two harem arcs one after the other might be a bit repetitive, dood. XD Perhaps later, 'kay? :)

_Liexi_: Thanks, dood. :)

_Henix Aurorus_: Mmm… random donut… XD

And now, ladies, gents, and peoples of all thingamawhatsits, the beginning of the end of the first arc! Woot! XD

-XO[]/\-

Level 8 – **Love Hurts** **(part 1)** – World 1 Boss Fight, Start!

-XO[]/\-

BOOOOM! "**GRAAAAH!**"

As the ground erupted from beneath our dear competitors' feet, their screams and shouts ranging from surprise to terror drowned out by the deafening roar of the quaking and whatever caused it, spouts of dark, malevolent energy burst out at random from around the field. And, as it would happen, one of these blasts occurred under one rather unfortunate Planeptunian CPU.

With a loud BOOM, Neptune was sent flying away. "AW, CRACKEEEEERS!" She shouted as she flew into the stands and –

"OOMPH!" Landed right on Noire. Headfirst in her breasts, to boot. Regardless of the fanservice, however, I must say that this seems like rather the wrong Noire to be landing on… I thought that was V Noire's schtick? Anyways, methinks the two'll be knocked out for a bit, so we'll check in on them later.

"Neptune!" Nepgear exclaimed distressedly, "Oh goodness, I hope she's okay…"

"S-She'll b-be fine," Compa stuttered, more than a little scared and confused, "S-She's had falls worse than that, r-remember – EEP!"

Another burst of sinister power interrupted Compa, expanding outward from its starting point and going until the various members of Iffy's harem – and Iffy herself - were trapped in a dome of malevolent shadow.

Speaking of our yuri harem lead, the quaking finally knocked her loose of her binds that's she been stuck in since… the beginning of this arc, really. For those wondering, no, bathroom usage is not an issue. Bear in mind this silly competition has only been going on for like an hour or a few in-universe. Actually, probably less than an hour, really. Arc Fatigue much? I mean, they're _still_ here? Good grief….

"Ooof… well, that hurt," grumbled the now-free Guld member, "But at least I'm finally off that stupid pole…"

…Pfft… on a pole… erk – er, nothing, no sexual innuendo here, nope.

"Iffy!" shouted Compa, "What's happening?!"

"I dunno Compa," IF responded as she made her way over to her friends, "But I think I can safely say it's nothing good."

"Everyone!" Came the distressed voice of Histoire from outside the dark barrier as she and the rest of the spectators – the unconscious Nep and Noire were dragged there like baggage or something by Falcom and Cave - ran up to the side of it, "Are you all alright?"

Iffy sighed. "Yeah, we're alright. An explanation for all this would be nice, though…"

"**GRAH! GRAAAAH!**" A demonic shout sounded throughout the stadium.

"There we go," deadpanned Iffy, as one final burst of power erupted from the center of the area enclosed by the energy field. Emerging from this blast was a being shrouded in the same power that trapped IF and the competitors in the first place. When the energy settled and the Guild member got a clear look at the being…

Iffy gaped, as did all her friends – in _and_ out of the barrier. "_Underling?!" _The only sane woman shouted – scratch that, _everyone_ shouted. Even you readers, after reading that reveal, possibly. But after a short pause, something began to dawn on our harem lead and the others… "Wait… no, that's not quite right…"

Glaring at the being, Iffy could indeed say that it was Underling. But there was something terribly, terribly wrong with the (ex-)ASIC grunt. Namely, she was clad in an aura of foul black energies, and her eyes now had black sclera with red irises (wait, her eyes are red _normally_... so it's just the sclera that's off), with jagged black markings around the eyes' perimeter. Not to mention she was floating a few inches off the ground and her pipe had been cloaked in energy that had shaped itself into a sword of some kind.

Now, IF wasn't really an expert in the occult or anything, but she was pretty sure the lesser villain was possessed by something.

Iffy gave the being a wary gaze. "…Who are you and what did you do to Underling?"

The being seemed to ignore her words, judging by what it said. And that would be, in a demonically-twisted version of Linda's voice, "**Are you… the center…?**"

As the competitors – Gear, Compa, Lyrica, Vert, and Red, just for a reminder – exchanged confused looks with one another, Iffy raised a brow. "…Center?"

The being's gaze slowly shifted from side to side, seeming to analyze the group standing behind IF, and then doing the same to IF herself. Appearing to come a conclusion of some kind, it said, raising a finger (not the middle one, for the record) and pointing at the Guild member, "**Yes… you are… the center…**"

"…Of _what_?" Iffy asked confusedly. As I'm sure many of you are. Hang on a minute, we're getting there. Impatient little tykes…

"**You are… the one that they gravitate toward…**"

Still more than a little confused, but starting to get an idea of what this mysterious whackjob in Underling's body was getting at, IF inquired, pointing her thumb behind herself, "…You mean them?"

"**Yeees… you are…**"

Beginning to be filled with a bizarre sense of dread, the sane woman's intuition told her that she'd prefer it if this being didn't finish its sentence. "Nooo… don't say it… don't you _dare_ say it…"

"…**The…**" the mysterious being continued unconcernedly.

"DON'T. SAY IT." Iffy ground out.

"**Harem… lead…**" The being finished. Aaand this scene suddenly lost all its tension in one fell swoop.

"GODDESS-DAMMIT!" Iffy shouted as she facepalmed… and as many of the onlookers face-faulted (basically anyone who doesn't have a 'stoic' type characterization – they just sweatdropped, facepalmed, or both). "THEY! ARE! NOT! MY! HAREM!"

Oh silly Iffy, denial is for kids! And crazy people.

Lowering its finger and ignoring the Guild member, Underling's possessor continued, now directing its speech at Iffy's totally-not-harem, "**You… give me… the center…!**"

"No way!" Shouted Red, "Iffy's my – no, _our_ wifey!"

Blushing, 5pb added, "Um, I wouldn't put it quite like that, but you can't have Iffy, you, um, whatever you are!"

"We won't let any harm come to her." Vert joined in, bringing forth her spear.

"Yes!" Gear continued in this scene that would go excellently with that one inspiring music track from mk2 and V. You know the one. "And let Underling go, whoever you are!"

"U-Um!" Compa stuttered, adding her piece, "Y-Yeah! W-What they said!" '_Aww… that didn't sound cool…_'

Glancing around at her friends, IF smiled. "Thanks, guys." Then, bringing out her katars, she continued, "I –_We_ - won't go easy on you just 'cause you possessed Underling's body, you know." A smirk. "In fact, we may just pound you even harder!"

Heheh… pound harder… er, get your minds out of the gutter, pervs. Anyway, as everyone who hadn't already brought out their weapons did so, IF concluded, "You only get one chance to surrender. What's it gonna be?"

Expressionlessly, the mysterious being gazed across the various girls. After a moment, it raised its sword of dark energy and said, "**...Then die…!**"

As our heroines charged forward to combat this threat, however...

"Hold on a moment, IF!" Shouted Histoire, stopping the Guild member in her tracks as the rest of the group trapped in the barrier went to battle Underling's possessor.

"What is it, Histoire? I kind of need to help out," Iffy questioned.

"I merely wish to inform you of what that being is," explained Histoire, serious expression on her tiny face.

Iffy relaxed her stance a bit, sounds of battle blaring in the background. "Alright, hurry with the exposition."

"Yes, of course," Histy nodded, expositing, "I was hoping that this information would not need to be explained, and that nothing was going on… but it seems that was not to be. In any case, the being in possession of – Underling, was it? – is known as Yandere The Fearsome."

Iffy raised a brow. "Yandere… the fearsome?" The sane woman resisted the urge to facepalm.

Histy nodded again, continuing, "Yes. As the legend goes, many years ago, before the reign of Caelus, there was a group of people in a village not far from Planeptune. These people were in a situation much akin to what you might see in a harem comedy, with one male surrounded by many females who fawned over him despite his lack of personality. And while most of his harem was friendly with one another, one of these girls, however, was a yandere."

Gaze half-lidded, Iffy said, "I don't suppose that ended very well, did it?"

Histoire shook her head in the negative. "No. As you might have gathered from her presence as an evil spirit here today, it did not. At some point during this time, the yandere girl grew sick of her competitors. Eventually, one by one, she murdered them all to get them out of her way. Finding out about this, her love interest rejected her and called the local authorities, sending her on the run. Heartbroken and driven further into her insanity, she turned to dark magics to get her revenge. She cast a spell upon herself, before committing suicide…"

"…Thus becoming _that_," IF said as she pointed a thumb back at the being that was currently locked in battle with her friends. "Pretty dark backstory considering the general tone of this fanfic thus far…"

"And it doesn't end there," the fairy continued, "After becoming the evil spirit she is now, she killed her love interest as well, and, using her newfound dark power, absorbed his soul, so as to be together forever, in a very twisted way. And from there, her MO became to possess a host – it would seem she needs one to affect the physical plane - and then murder the lead – or rather, the 'center' - of any harem that appeared in the village or anywhere nearby, and absorbing their souls, continuing what she started with her own love. If she couldn't have _her_ love, then no one _else_ could have theirs; in effect, it was the worst bout of jealousy ever."

"But. I. Don't. _Have_. A harem!" Iffy grumbled and denied, as Gear and Yandere had a sword duel in the background. IF's eye twitched in impatience as she heard said duel, wanting this exposition dump to be over already. Outside the barrier, the Candidates and Makers out there had taken to trying to blow a hole in it to get in and help their friends. Blanc and a reawakened Noire did as well. Nep was still out cold, though.

"Right, right," Histy said placatingly before continuing on, "As the years passed, her spirit's hold on the village, as well as its power, grew greater, and its people lived in fear. Most eventually abandoned it…"

"Why didn't the CPUs of the time stop her?" Iffy inquired.

"They were too busy with other matters; the CPUs back then did not get along quite as amiably as they do now, to say the least," the Oracle answered, before resuming, "This continued into the early part of Caelus' reign, before the Arfoire incident. While this era of CPU still did not get along particularly well, their relations were a bit better than the previous generation. At some point, Caelus had enough time in-between her other tasks to help a small group of tightly-knit adventurers – I believe it was a harem group itself, with one male and several women, if I recall correctly - defeat Yandere The Fearsome. Not quite sure how to kill her, as she was a spirit, and one made of dark energies, at that – and before you ask, ghost-type monsters like the Pac-Ghosts aren't _actually_ ghosts, they merely resemble them – they opted to seal her away instead."

"Okay, how?" Iffy asked, her foot tapping against the ground. She really wanted to help out in the boss fight going on behind her. Speaking of, Red got blown into Compa by an energy blast from Yandere, who seems to be holding her own pretty well considering it's five on one. Maybe she has annoyingly high HP regen or something…

Histoire sighed with a sad expression. "I do not know exactly how they sealed her, unfortunately," then, returning to a serious look, "However, I do know that after she was sealed, the book she obtained her dark magic from was destroyed, and that a tomb was built underneath the ruins of the village to imprison her... and it would seem this stadium was built on top of that tomb. I believe Caelus left behind instructions on how to re-seal Yandere if she got out, as well, but I do not know where – or rather," the fairy rubbed the back of her head sheepishly, blushing, "I _forgot_ where, she put them, not to mention I cannot seem to recall the instructions Caelus told me myself, either. Sorry, after recording information in my pages for so long, some of it tends to get… lost… from time to time."

IF sighed. "Great. Just great." But then, as something struck her, she looked up with a more hopeful expression, "Wait, is it possible that those instructions might be in the tomb somewhere?" Yandere batted away Vert with her energy blade in the background, causing IF's eye to twitch.

"Hmmm…" Histy pondered as Blanc pounded on the barrier with her hammer a few feet away, and then, with a brighter look, "Most likely, yes! Of course! But…" Her expression became downcast. "…If that is so, then would not the earlier earthquake have _buried_ the tomb?"

IF paused for a moment. Not even the lights behind her from Vert and Gear activating HDD or the angry demonic roaring of Yandere caused her to move. And then, "…_Crap._"

Histoire sighed. "What will you do then, IF?"

IF sighed as well, before raising a katar. "I'll tell you what I'm _not_ gonna do, Histoire – and that'd be stand here and do nothing. I'm going to go help the others out. We'll keep Yandere busy while you try to remember what Caelus told you."

Histoire raised a fist in determination. "I will do my best. Be careful, IF."

The Guild member smiled. "Don't worry, I will. Make sure to give that annoying author avatar a kick in the ass for me if he shows up, considering he's the one who got us into this mess… on purpose, I bet."

"Um… about that…" Histoire pointed behind Iffy, sweatdropping as she did so.

IF's gaze became half-lidded as she (reluctantly) looked, finding the annoying shades-wearing prinny standing behind her looking smug. "…Speak of the annoying-ass devil. How the hell did you get in here? You weren't here earlier."

"Author avatar powers, dood." The prinny answered unsatisfactorily.

"Uh-huh," the only sane woman continued, voice in a very nice deadpan, "So you planned this, right?"

The prinny chuckled, before boasting, "Why yes, yes I did, dood! All as revenge for my treatment in the first few chapters! And also 'cause I was bored! And 'cause I'm a jackass, dood!" As the annoying prinny monologued, he failed to notice Iffy seeming to make some calculations, walking around him and putting her hands together in a picture-frame position a few times, and even testing the wind with her finger. Too wrapped up in his own rambling, I guess. "I disappeared and left Neptune in charge earlier to make sure everything was going fine – and also to avoid the earthquake, dood. I figured the release of Yandere The Fearsome might cause one. But yeah, I built this stadium over the ruins of that village on purpose and brought you here on purpose, dood! Ain't I a stinker?"

By this time, Iffy seemed to have completed her evaluation. Finally taking notice of this, the author avatar asked, "Eh? What're ya doin', dood?"

In response, IF smirked. It was not a nice smirk. "Making an entrance…" she said, beginning to raise her leg….

The shades-wearing peglegged penguin paused for a moment. "…Eh?"

BOOT! "DOOOOOOD!"

"And getting revenge for the pole!"

And with that shout and a mighty kick, IF sent the annoying prinny flying right towards Yandere in a move that would make Nisa proud… say, where _is_ Nisa, anyway…?

"**Hm?**" Grunted Yandere as she heard the bizarre noise. And then the projectile-fied prinny hit.

BOOOOM! Prinny nuke, dudes!

Dashing towards the evil spirit – hidden in smoke courtesy of her impromptu bomb – Iffy leapt up and brought down her katars on the spirit. "Raaah!"

CLANG! Her katars were met with Yandere's blade. The Guild member smirked again. "Yeah, I didn't figure that'd do much," she said, giving a brief glance at the prinny's comically charred body lying by Yandere's feet, her smirk growing wider, "but then, that's not why I did it in the first place."

"**Grr…!**" Growled the evil spirit, pushing forward suddenly and knocking Iffy back, and then quickly blasting away the prinny's corpse(?) with a blast of dark energy (A pained "ACK!" could be heard as she did so). Stumbling a bit on landing, IF speedily righted herself and met Yandere's sword with her twin blades when the spirit charged forward. Another CLANG rang out as they locked weapons. After a brief moment of this, IF suddenly moved her left katar away from the lock (her right one keeping Yandere's sword from moving too much) and made a swift jab at Underling's possessor with it. The dark being leapt back from the jab, but received a minor cut to her stomach, one which quickly healed. Guess she does have annoying HP regen.

Before she could anything else though, Green Heart came in from her left and struck at her with her lance, making her leap back ward again to avoid it. After doing this, the spirit assessed her situation from her new position.

She found Iffy, HDD Gear, HDD Vert, Compa, 5pb, and Red surrounding her, weapons brandished and still rarin' ta go. The spirit growled.

IF smirked once more. Glancing at her friends, she asked, "You guys get all that exposition, by any chance?"

It was Vert who answered. "It was a little difficult to hear over the fighting, but I believe we all got the general gist of it." Sounds of agreement resounded through our combatants.

"Good," Iffy replied, satisfied, "saves me some trouble. Anyway," she pointed a katar at Yandere, "The real fight begins now, Yandere The Fearsome!"

"**Grrr… You will… be mine…!**" The evil spirit responded.

**BGM: Scamper (Hyperdimension Neptunia mk2)**

"…The hell?" Iffy asked, glancing around confusedly (but keeping an eye on Yandere, who, along with Iffy's harem, seemed to be a bit confuzzled as well) as music suddenly started playing out of nowhere.

"Don't worry about it, Iffy!" shouted a now-awake Nep from the barrier's edge, "It's just the boss theme! It's there as a suggestion thingy in case the readers want to make the fight more awesomesauce or whatever! Just ignore it an' bust that ghost from here ta Zuul!"

"Okay… so, when'd you wake up, Nep?" Iffy asked.

"Oh, sometime when you an' Histy were talkin'. Saw ya make Zdood's avatar guy go kablooie! That was coolios!" Nep explained, giving a thumbs up, "Now go get 'um, tiger!"

The Guild member smiled. "Got it," she said, turning back to the fight. "Alright guys, charge!"

And that the group did, closing in on Yandere as one. However, the spirit was having none of that. With a mighty roar, she released a large pulse of energy (…of the dark variety, but I'm sure you know that by now). "**GRAAAAH!**"

"Crap!" Shouted Iffy as the pulse hit the all six of our heroines and knocked them back, sounds of pain emanating from them as they landed. Righting themselves, they prepared to continue their assault. Purple Sister started things off.

"Slash Wave!" She shouted, sending a shockwave along the ground. With another growl, Yandere countered by mirroring the attack with a dark shockwave from her own sword. The two attacks met with a loud BOOM, after which both Gear and Vert closed in on YTF in a pincer maneuver.

"**Heh.**" With a smirk, the spirit stretched out both of her hands and unleashed a blast from each one. The incoming HDD'ed girls blocked it, but got pushed back.

Right on the heels of the HDD duo's attack came 5pb's shout of "Heavenly Sound!" bringing down a chain of lightning bolts on YTF's head too quickly for her to dodge.

"**Rrrrgh…! Graaagh…!**" The demonic possessor ground out as she took the bolts. As she tried to shake off that tingly feeling that comes with being electrocuted, Compa started firing bullets into her back; they didn't seem to faze the spirit, however. Whether because it was due to being numb from the tunes of Heavenly Sound or just because they weren't terribly damaging (hey, Compa _is _a medic, not a fighter), who knows. Not that it really mattered, since Red dashed in while Yandere was stunned and gave her a good WHACK (yes, all caps) with her hammer.

As the WHACK resounded through the battlefield, the monster flew back, heading right for… Compa! Gasp! Will the nurse be all right?!

…In a word, yes. Because… erm…

PRICK!

"**GRAAAGH!**" Uhhh… the spirit _kind of_ landed on Compa's syringe… _butt first_… erm, yeeeah… needless to say, the (now extremely pissed-off) possessor of Linda went flying off, screeching in agony.

"S-Sorry!" Compa called out. Can't really blame her; I wouldn't wish ass rape by sharp, pointy, giant needle on anyone.

…

… Okay, maybe a _few_ people. Mwahaha.

Anyway, Yandere's face landed on IF's foot some distance away. That is to say, before she could hit the ground, Iffy kicked her in the face, knocking her back some ways. As the spirit attempted to get her bearings, the Guild member shouted, "LeDelphinus!" Bringing up a beam of blue energy from underneath her.

"**GRAAAGH!**" The spirit shouted once more as the beam's energy surged through her. As the attack ended, Yandere fell to her knees… well, technically Underling's knees, but whatever.

As the spirit panted, Iffy taunted. "Had enough? You're pretty resilient, but a six on one fight really only has one logical conclusion, as long as the power level difference isn't annoyingly egregious, anyway. Your ass being kicked." The Guild member smirked, raising a blade. "Wanna let the grunt go, or do we need to keep going?"

"**Grrr…!**" Yandere growled. She does that a lot, don't she?

-XO[]/\-

Now for a brief intermission… let's show what the gang outside the barrier is up to, shall we?

Well, many of them are still trying to bust a hole in the barrier, to no avail. Among them is, surprisingly considering her laziness, Neptune. However, also considering her laziness, she stopped to take a break and walked over to Histy.

Panting from what she'd been doing, she said, "Wow, the baddie over there is really getting curbstomped."

"Mmm…" Histoire hummed, still trying to remember the sealing method. Also to no avail.

"Seriously, seems kinda lame for an arc finale, ya know?"

"Mmm…" Thinking.

"Also, how come Iffy gets to have the first boss fight in this fanfic? Aren't _I_ the main character?" Nep whined.

"Mmm…" 404 still not found.

Nep's gaze became half-lidded. "You aren't even listenin' ta me, are ya Histy?"

"Mmm…" I think I hear computer processing noises.

"…Hey look, a flying purple giraffe having a beer with Albert Einstein." Nep deadpanned.

"Mmm…" Now I hear gears grinding.

The purplette sighed. "Yeeeah… I'mma go back ta tryin' to crack open this 'ere egg. Good luck with your stuff, Histy." And with that, the CPU sauntered off.

Meanwhile… "Mmm…" I really hope this doesn't take three days… it'd be kinda late by then….

-XO[]/\-

Back at the fight… Iffy and co had surrounded Yandere The (not so) Fearsome once more. Said spirit was still on her knees. She had, however, stopped growling and had went silent.

"…Hello? Earth to lame boss monster?" IF deadpanned.

A pause. Yandere suddenly smiled, and…!

BOOM! "Gaaah!" A spout of dark energy burst from under our dear Guild member, sending her flying. This heralded the emergence of several more eruptions, in something like a sinister reprise of a certain part of the soccer chapter – you know the one. These eruptions were, unlike the first time around at YTF's emergence to the aboveground, far more accurate, coming up underneath each of Iffy's party members in turn.

BOOM! There goes Compa! BOOM, and Red! BLAM with Vert, KABLOOEY with Gear, and KABLAM with Lyrica as they all were blindsided by the sudden and very swift blasts.

"**Hehehehe…!**" Yandere snickered. A closer look reveals that energy is seeping out of her hands and into the ground. The bitch had been planning this from the moment she kneeled down, hadn't she? Dayum, girl! And the kicker is, with all the dark energy permeating the air in the barrier – especially the barrier _itself_'s energy – the spirit probably hazarded a guess that her ploy would go undetected until it was too late. Looks like she was right.

Anyways… not giving her adversaries the chance to recover, and with a "**RAAAH!**" the villain launched a barrage of energy blasts at her currently-prone foes. And unlike in DBZ, methinks the 'spam energy blast' tactic will prove a bit more effective here….

After a series of loud explosions, Yandere's decidedly more injured opponents fell to the ground. Nothing lethal – though the spirit certainly intended to change that – but they'd definitely be hella sore in the morning. If they got to see it, that is.

Glancing around, the spirit knew she had to choose her targets quickly – these annoying pests wouldn't be vulnerable for long, and her trick would only work once, since these bitches would wise up to it! She decided to go for the nurse first – she may not have been particularly threatening compared to the others, but hey, that needle f-cking _hurt_. With a sinister smirk, the ghastly ghoul prepared to skewer the nurse (-in-training) with her foul blade.

BOOM! Buuut… the hand that emerged from the ground and grabbed Yandere's left ankle wasn't havin' none 'o dat.

"**Hm…?**" YTF grunted. And then…

BOOM! "HIIII-YAAAAH!"

POW, RIGHT TO THE KISSER! The malevolent spirit was given a fierce uppercut by… well I'll be damned, it was none other than a rather pissed-off Nisa!

As the spirit flew back from the PAWNCH (yes, it _must_ be described like that), Nisa (who was quite scuffed up and generally worse for wear, and was bleeding from several places, and who may or may not be running on pure hot-bloodedness and determination right now) landed, shouting, "_That_ was for earlier, you fiend!" As her theme song blared in the background from some unidentifiable location.

IF, still a little dazed from Yandere's surprise attack, looked up to see what the commotion was about, asking, "N…Nisa?"

Turning around and giving a wink and a hearty grin, our Big Damn Heroine flashed a thumbs up to the brunette. "Need any help, dear friend?"

-XO[]/\-

Level 8 end

-XO[]/\-

_Episode Preview:_

_Nisa: Oh yeah! I'm back, baby!_

_Iffy: Where the hell've __**you**__ been?_

_Nisa: Ah, heh, about that… next episode, kay? I have quite the tale to tell, and an episode preview doesn't really allot enough space for it…._

_Iffy: Fine, whatever. Good to have ya back, though._

_Nisa: Good to be back, IF!_

_Yandere: __**You… bitches…!**_

_Nisa: Get ready to have your clock cleaned, evil spirit! I have a bone to pick with you, and the hero(ine) always wins in the rematch!_

_Nep: Stay tuned for "Love Hurts" part 2, loyal readers! ~ … But seriously though, __**bawww**__, why don't __**I**__ get the first boss fight!_

_Iffy (sighing): Oh, give it a rest, Nep._

_Nep: But I've only said it twice! Third time's the charm, dontcha know?_

_Iffy: Cut it out anyway, geez…._

_Nep: Aw, fiiine… _

-XO[]/\-

AN: …Well, first and foremost, I shall say this: let it be known that I am quite fond of the 'Vile Villain, Saccharine Show' trope and that as such it will prolly pop up on a fairly frequent basis with original bad guys. :) Not to say there won't be humorous villains too, mind you.

That said, I guess I just find villains of the VVSS persuasion to be more memorable or something since they contrast so heavily with the series they're in. XD Zero(-Two) of the Kirby series is a great example. Seriously, only appeared in two games, only briefly, and not a single line, and yet everyone remembers the blood-crying demonic eyeball (…undead angel thing). Including me. XD

Anyways, as for why I split the finale… well, first, as I said up top, it's been a while and I figured I should prolly give you guys something to read. Second, organizational reasons, kinda; this chap had a lot of (hasty) expositional infodump on the Sealed Evil In A Can, while the next will be mostly fighting. There'll be exposition too, but a lot of it will come in the form of a flashback… which will have a lot of fighting in it. Yes, what Nisa has been up to shall finally be explained. Third, Nisa's comeback seemed like a good place to end the chapter. Fourth, this chap is already roughly around the length of an average episode of HDA (er… I think). Fifth… somehow a two-parter seems more… finale-ish, ya know? XD

Also, for the record, I don't hate yanderes. The archetype just happened to be convenient for my plans. On the note of the villain, I know Yandere The Fearsome isn't much of a villain, really (though then again, she _is_ the first boss XD). In all honesty, she's probably going to be the Raditz of Hyperdimensional Adventures. XD Future baddies will be a bit more… developed and filling. And have more presence.

Anyways, although more full notes on this arc and a bio for YTF will come up at next chap's ending AN, I will say right now that YTF is based on a character from Disgaea 4. Anyone who's played it or watched it all the way through should know who I'm referring to. :) Also, though I will reveal it at the end-chap AN next time, feel free to have a bit of fun guessing what exactly my 'plans' regarding this arc were (you know, themes and such) until then. :)

Well, read, review, and see y'all around, doods!

…Jeezus, this AN was lengthy… XD


	9. IH 6: Love Hurts (part 2)

Disclaimer: meh

AN: Let's finish this, doods!

_Review Responses_

_Some Random Tosser_: I doubt it changes much, sadly, but that's just me. Whether or not it'll be you as well will remain to be seen. I'll try to cut down on the parenthetical stuff, too; thanks for that, dude. :) I make no promises, though. XD

_ChromaLuke_: I'm lazy, awright? XD

_Ghostdominion6_: Thanks for the support. :)

_Henix Aurorus_: Yep, that's correct. :) And if I can inspire someone to write, then yay! And I prolly wouldn't ask ya anyway, dude; not that I'm not curious, but as I know I wouldn't want to spoil my own fic, likewise I ain't gonna try to make ya spoil your potential one. :)

_Hydrocity3_: Ayup. Also, details, details, potaytoe, potahtoe. XD

Welp, let's begin, doods!

-XO[]/\-

Level 9 – **Love Hurts (part 2)** – Start!

-XO[]/\-

"Woah. Nice Big Damn Heroes stunt there, Nisa! I wonder where she's been, anyway? I mean, seriously, she just, like, made like a cabbage patch kickboxer or somethin', sooo… whassup with that?" Rambled one Neptune, excited to see the heroine enter the fray, as she took another break from trying to break open the barrier. Dang thing still wasn't budging.

"Mmm…" Hummed one Histoire, not-so-excited to not have remembered what she wanted to remember yet. Has some form of 3 'somethings' passed yet? Seriously Histy, you kind of hold the key to victory here. Or at least a fragment of it, at any rate.

…

…What're you all looking at me like that for?

"Hellooooo. Konnichi waaaaa. Alohaaaaa," Nep deadpanned out as she waved a hand in front of Histoire's face, "Holaaaa… yeeeah, she's gonna be thinkin' and stuff for a while longer, soooo…" Nep turned to you reader people. Or maybe me, the narrator. Not quite sure. "Ya might wanna just mosey on along to the next scene, dudes and baguettes…"

… 'Baguettes'…?

… Never mind, moving on…

-XO[]/\-

"Need any help, dear friend?"

…In case you're wondering, no, Nisa did not actually repeat her question. It's just a pointless recap thing. Apparently the author thinks you're all goldfish or something. You can find torches and pitchforks at your nearest dealer of torches and pitchforks. You're on your own with figuring out where the author lives, though.

…Back on track… Nisa has made her triumphant return, bursting from the ground and socking Yandere The Fearsome in the face with the force of several thousand STR points, sending the foul spirit flying back and landing with a rather satisfying THUD. Underling'll probably feel _that_ in the morning. If she's no longer possessed by then, anyway. Suspense, suspense…

…Oh, speaking of suspense (…I guess?), for anyone that actually cares, the boss bgm is still **Scamper**. Didn't care? Yeah, didn't think so. Well, it's there, so… just in case? Meh, more importantly…

IF, understandably confused, though not unhappy, at the heroine's sudden appearance, replied, "Uh, sure… what the heck happened to _you_ anyway?"

Nisa gave another winning smile. "Perhaps later IF," she said as she turned back to face the still-prone-but-quickly-rising Yandere. "We have other matters to attend to."

"Well, once the others recover from that thing's attack, they can probably hold her off for a bit," IF said as she got up, "They did it while Histoire was explaining things – on that note, that thing there is called 'Yandere The Fearsome,' stupid name, I know – so as long as you're quick with the exposition, it should be fine."

Nisa nodded. "Very well then." Knuckle crack. "Bust out the healing items and skills and heal yourself and everyone else, IF; I'll hold off this monster while you do it."

Iffy nodded back. "Alright then."

As the Guild member went to play temporary medic, Yandere fully rose to her feet and snarled at Nisa. "**You…!**"

Nisa smirked, making a 'come on' gesture with her hand. "Miss me?"

"**GRAAAAH!**" YTF yelled out as she dashed toward the heroine, swinging her dark blade.

Bringing out her beam sword, Nisa's weapon contacted Yandere's with a mighty… uh… whatever sound effect a beam sword and a dark energy sword would make if they collided.

…Bzt, maybe?

"**Don't interfere…!**" the evil spirit ground out as she locked blades with her current opponent.

"I'm afraid I can't do that, spirit," Nisa said, trying to push forward but meeting a lot of resistance. Bits of the ground beneath the duo's feet began to rise as they intensified their battle auras, each attempting to overpower the other.

But after a few moments, and with an evil smirk, Yandere decided to change things up a bit. She raised her left hand, palm open, and a blast of energy burst out.

BOOM! "Guh!" Nisa tanked the blast, mostly holding her position but losing a little ground. Impressive considering her condition.

"**Heh,**" snickered Yandere, before blasting again. Boom! "**Heheh.**" Boom! And again. "**Hehehehe!**" More and more blasts she let loose, her snickering becoming insane guffawing. "**Hehehehehehehehehe!**"

Taking them as they came, ever slowly losing more and more ground, Nisa finally decided she'd had enough around the tenth blast. Clenching her right hand, she yelled "Give it a rest already, dammit!" And threw a swift and hard punch.

THWACK! "**Ergh!**" Right against Yandere's face it hit, and rather hard at that, causing her to be the one losing some ground this time. Nisa followed up her punch by disengaging the blade lock. When Yandere stumbled forward slightly from this, Nisa kneed her in the gut before following up with several slashes of her laser blade, trying to keep the damage caused somewhere between 'incapacitation' and 'lethal'; she didn't want to accidentally off the possessed Underling. The heroine finished her assault with a powerful roundhouse kick.

THWACK! "**GRAAAGH!**" Yandere went flying back, bouncing off the ground once before righting herself with a snarl. Her cuts and wounds healed soon after.

At this, Nisa said (well, more like deadpanned), "… I really don't like regeneration."

Yandere growled, her anger levels growing. It's a wonder there's no steam coming off the spirit's head, she's so angry. She does, however, seem to have several of those x-shaped popping blood vessels on her head. All this constant interference wasn't really helping her violent insanity.

"…**That woman…!**" the spirit started off semi-calmly, and then… "**…will be MINE! MINE MINE MINE MINE **_**MINE!**_" She exploded with the fury of a thousand (…dark) suns, her aura flaring wildly. "**CEASE YOUR INTERFERENCE! SHE'S MINE! ALL MINE! HER SOUL SHALL JOIN ME IN ETERNI-**" THWACK!

"You really gotta learn how to share!" quipped a healed Red as she gave Yandere a good smack with her toy hammer, sending the fiend flying, before bringing out a giant yo-yo and using it like a lasso, ensnaring the mad spirit's right ankle mid-flight and then slamming her into the ground a few times before tossing her away, right into the barrier's edge.

SLAM into it the spirit did, prior to sliding down to the ground in a heap. Not that this lasted long, as she healed (…again) and leapt to her feet, rage just barely restrained behind a snarling visage… and seeing all her previously-downed foes up and ready to fight again just made it even less so.

"**Skanks… Whores.. Bitches. Sluts! HOME-WRECKERS! **_**CU**_**-**" Okay, yeah, we're gonna go ahead and cut that last insult of her rant. Seriously. Bad potty-mouthed evil spirit, bad!

IF came up to Nisa's side, saying to her other comrades, "Think you guys can hold her off for a minute? We need Nisa to get some more exposition out of the way." Her totally-not-harem gave various answers, all of which were synonyms for 'yeah, we got this, Iffy!' So, nodding, IF then asked Nisa, "Were you in a tomb of some kind before you popped up?" She got an affirmative. "Alright, in that case… c'mon, let's get over to Histoire. She may need to hear this."

-XO[]/\-

And so the Guild agent and defender of justice made their way over to the still-thinking tome fairy at the barrier's boundary as Iffy's (not) harem leapt into another round of battle with the extremely-enraged Yandere The et cetera et cetera and the script's not even taking her seriously anymore, is it?

The two made it to their destination as Yandere let out an angry roar, making like Cave and sending out a large storm of energy blasts that her foes had to weave through.

"Histoire! Yo, Histoire!" Iffy yelled at the fairy, who didn't seem to hear her and kept right on thinking, 'Mmm'-ing as she did so.

"Yeeeah, that ain't gonna work, Iffy," said Nep as she walked over. Is she taking another fraggin' break? Or did she just wanna talk to IF? "Histy's on a whole 'nother planet right now."

"Well, snap her out of it for a minute! This is kind of important!" Iffy said impatiently, explosions ringing from the fight going on behind her.

Nep scrunched her face in thought for a moment. "Well… I haven't tried _that_ way yet…"

"What way? Just hurry and do it!" Iffy asked and sorta-snapped.

Neptune looked at Histoire for a second. And then she executed her brilliant plan.

THWACK! "Ow!" Said plan was percussive maintenance. Or, in layman's terms, hitting it a little.

"I always wanted to try the 'hitting it' method," Nep said, satisfied look on her face, before sauntering off to help in barrier breakage again.

Histoire, rubbing her head, said, "Owww… Um, What is it?"

"Nisa has something to say that you might wanna hear; she was trapped in Yandere's tomb, so she might have learned something important," IF responded, nodding toward the heroine.

"Oh!" exclaimed Histy, "Well, please tell us of what happened, Nisa. Try to remember any important details."

Nisa nodded. "Yes, Lady Histoire."

And then she began to recount her tale… I smell a flashback!

…Ewwww, it smells like rotten tuna…

-XO[]/\- FLASHBACK BAM!

"_U…Underling?" A surprised Nisa gasped as she gazed upon the being clad in negative energies before her, taking up a stance out of wariness. "No… rather, what have you __**done**__ to Underling!?"_

_The being, who we all know as one Yandere The Fearsome, possessor of Linda and nasty spirit extraordinaire, only vaguely registered Nisa's presence. She did, however, say "__**Are you… the center…?**__"_

…_Yeeeah, as we all know what that means, I doubt any of you can really take it seriously, can ya?_

_Nisa, however, did not know the non-threatening truth. "Center…?"_

_Yandere analyzed the heroine for a moment, before coming to a conclusion of some kind. "__**No… you are not… but there is one nearby…**__" The spirit gave a brief glance upward, before once again focusing her gaze on Nisa. There was a distinctly unfriendly glint in her eyes, a glint that was made all the more sinister by the once-ethereal-blue flames on the torches lining the room of Yandere's imprisonment now being a vile black._

_Nisa tensed, a slight bead of sweat rolling down the side of her face. What did this mysterious (during the time of this flashback, anyway) possessor of Underling have in store?_

_With a smirk, Yandere suddenly dashed forward, sword raised to impale, with a hiss of "__**I have no use for you…!**__" Nisa met it with her own sword… Huh, is it just me, or is Yandere more amusing when she's extremely pissed? You know, like she was just prior to this flashback? …Uh… but I digress…._

_And with a… er, beam-on-darkness sound effect thingy, go! …Why the hell does this fanfic write out sound effects, anyway? It's not a freakin' comic…._

_Whatever. So the two opponents are in another (or rather, their first) bladelock. Unlike the one from the present time, however, Nisa quickly disengaged and leapt away from the apparition, who retaliated with a DBZ-trademarked energy blast spam… nah, I already used that one. Okay… uh, Touhou-trademarked?_

_Weaving through some and slashing through others, Nisa leapt into the air, and, with a yell of "V-Extreme!" shot downwards, aura-clad foot extended to meet Yandere's face. The attack met the spirit's sword with a loud CLANG. She chuckled slightly, thinking that the attack had failed. Nisa's grin was the only warning the monster received that she was quite incorrect, as the aura surrounding Nisa's foot exploded with a loud BOOM, sending the spirit crashing back into a wall adorned with another mural (this one of a group of people enveloped by some kind of light, with a figure of Yandere opposite them) and knocking over a few of the room's torches._

_Backflipping, Nisa landed on her feet rather gracefully. Yandere unceremoniously slid down the wall she'd hit with a grunt. Wasting no time, Nisa charged forward with her laser blade ready to slice._

_However, now it was Yandere's turn to pull a fast one. With a smirk and a flip of her hand, she manipulated the dark fire of the torches she'd knocked over to create a very literal firewall just before Nisa reached her, resulting in a few burns for the heroine as she leapt back with a grunt of surprise. Or maybe it was pain. Actually, scratch that; it was probably both, durr…._

_Yandere followed up by rocketing through the flames she'd created, blade ready to draw blood. And draw blood it did, Nisa's dodge to the side just a hair too slow to prevent a decently-sized cut from appearing._

"_Haaah!" She did, however, get the spirit back, somersaulting to the side and raising a leg to give her opponent a rather nasty kick to the stomach, sending her flying upward and into the ceiling of the room with a SMACK._

_Giving her wound naught but a slight touch, Nisa quickly leapt up after Yandere. With a yell of "Dark X-Blade SLASH!" her beam sword became somewhat larger, putting out more energy in preparation for a combo attack._

_Unfortunately, it was right about then that Yandere actually decided to do the unthinkable and, you know, take advantage of her ability to float, righting herself in mid-air and hovering away from Nisa's attack, which went straight into the ceiling, then blasting the currently-open heroine with a burst of energy that sent her flying into the wall opposite the one Yandere hit earlier (adorned with the same mural as its opposite). Yandere did not stop her ranged assault however, as she rained energy blasts upon the prone Nisa, not even giving the heroine the chance to unceremoniously slide down the wall._

…_Yeesh, whatever happened to common courtesy?_

_Several BOOMs of exploding blasts later, Yandere allowed the smoke kicked up from her attacks to clear, revealing a worse-for-wear Nisa, who was coughing a bit. "Hah… hah… not bad, villain…" she panted, "but it'll take more than that to take down this heroine of justice!"_

_Yandere tsked a little, before giving a quick glance to the ceiling. The one she wanted was up there, up above, she could feel it! But this pest was getting in her way…_

…_But then, with a devious smirk, the malevolent being thought up a way to kill two birds with one stone._

"…_Huh? What's she up to…?" Nisa wondered as the flames around the room began to be absorbed into her opponent, Yandere herself raising her hands towards the ceiling of her prison chamber, chuckling evilly. She appeared to be gathering power._

…_Gathering power…_

"_Uh-oh," gasped Nisa. She took up a stance to unleash an attack to stop the spirit. "Zettai Her-!"_

"_**HAAAAH!**__" But the heroine was too late, as Yandere unleashed an extremely large blast of dark energies into the ceiling, doing severe damage to it and causing it to quickly begin to crumble and go to ruin._

"_Damn!" Nisa shouted as her attack was interrupted by falling debris. She quickly ducked down to try to defend herself as the prison chamber went straight to hell, Yandere guffawing evilly all the while._

"_**HAHAHAHAHAHA!**__" And then, smirking, she intensified her dark aura in preparation for shooting through the ceiling and the ground above, before doing just that, leaving Nisa to rot in the collapsing room. And when she got to the surface, she intended to make one hell of an entrance! Unknown to dear Nisa (odd that it's being included in the flashback then I suppose, but whatever), the spirit gathered even more power as she drilled her way up to the aboveground. What she had in mind would take a lot of power, possibly even severely weaken her, but from gauging all the life forces she felt up top, it would be the best way to get things done…._

…_Yes… no more interference could be allowed…_

"_Hey! Get back here, you fiend! We're not done! Ergh!" Nisa shouted to the heavens, just as the chamber fully fell in on itself, burying everything._

_-XO[]/\-_

_Not too long later, the prison chamber was mostly (that previous 'everything' was just a weak attempt at dramatic hyperbole, sorry) buried under a mountain of rubble. Much of the room was no longer visible under all the destruction. And yet…_

…_Wait, hang on a moment, I'll finish that thought later; I see movement in the rubble!_

"_Grrrgh…HAH!" And from the rubble burst one quite banged-up Nisa, her heroic resolve having fueled her through a hefty session of digging. Hauling herself out of the devastation and shakily rising to a stand, she glanced around the destroyed room, muttering to herself. "Curse that vile fiend… however, justice is not so easy to squash!"_

_And then her gaze happened across something that seemed just a bit peculiar, which is my cue to finish that above description. You see, for while the room was indeed pretty much a wreck and buried under lots and lots of rubble, there was one… no, two… things left oddly pristine._

_These things in question were the two murals mirroring each other on either side of the room; the ones that depicted the groups of people shrouded in light opposite a figure of Yandere. They were the only things in the wrecked chamber that were fully visible... glowing, even…._

'Hmm…' _Nisa thought to herself, '_Odd… perhaps I should make a note of these for later? They appear to be something important…'

_That thought filed away for later, Nisa directed her gaze to the what could no longer really be called the ceiling. '_For now though, other things take priority for this heroine!'

_And with that Nisa began to burrow her way up to the surface, her determination and hot blood refusing to let mere sediment get in the way of justice!_

…_Wait, why didn't she heal herself? Whether she had any items or not, she __**does**__ have a healing technique in her arsenal… Must be too focused on chasing after and stopping Yandere, I guess. Girl's a justice freak, after all._

-XO[]/\- FLASHBACK BOOM

And we're back to the future. Present. Whatever. References, woo. So you guys okay? The italics hurt your eyes? Hopefully not, the author hates lawsuits… er, I mean, the author cares deeply about (snrk) your well-being (pfft).

…Well anyway, Nisa is now finished with her tale, which she may or may not have embellished and which was told in a much different manner than the above flashback. Shame the author was too lazy to write it out Nisa-style; that probably would've been a hoot. Maybe for some later flashback by another character?

…Don't get your hopes up, though.

Histoire hummed at what she'd heard. "Could you repeat what was on those murals one more time, Nisa? I believe I'm beginning to recall something…"

Nisa nodded. "Yes, of course Lady Histoire. They depicted a group of people in some kind of light facing Yandere; I believe they were supposed to be combining their powers to fight the villain…" She rubbed the back of her head sheepishly. "Er, I think, anyway…"

Histoire thought for a few moment. Iffy glanced antsily at the still ongoing-battle. Yandere could be heard insanely (and angrily) shouting obscenities and scorn at her opponents as an explosion or two occurred.

"Yes… yes…" Histy's eyes widened. "Yes, I do believe I remember now! I remember the way to stop Yandere The Fearsome!"

IF and Nisa brightened up. Nisa even did a fist pump. And then, relieved that this nonsense could end soon, IF said, "Well, don't keep us in suspense Histoire! Tell us!"

Histy blushed. "Well, first I must say that I really _do_ need to sift through my pages sometime and reorganize everything; as it would turn out, the technique Caelus devised to defeat Yandere in the event she escaped her imprisonment was not for re-sealing her. It was actually to permanently finish her!"

IF smiled a bit at that. "Even better. C'mon, explain!"

The Oracle raised a finger. Not the middle one, ya dunces. "You see, after Yandere's initial sealing, it took Caelus quite some time to devise a way to defeat her again should she escape. Analyzing the details of the battle, Yandere's negative energies in particular, she eventually did come up with a solution; by unleashing large amounts of positive energy, Yandere's negative energies could be canceled out, thus destroying her, and without harming anyone that she might be possessing. After creating this technique, she etched those murals personally as a hint to any who might accidentally stumble upon the spirit's tomb, entrusting the details to me as well to be safe." A sigh of relief. "To think Caelus' trust in me was nearly misplaced… oh dear, I am most definitely going to do some sorting this weekend…"

"Worry about that later," said Iffy, "But one quick question before we finish off that thing; why didn't Caelus just use this technique back then?" Another explosion in the background. The Guild member twitched.

"Well," Histoire responded, "She decided that, being that she and that group of adventurers had fairly recently defeated and sealed her, it would be somewhat… odd, to release Yandere again just for a brief moment. As the spirit was imprisoned and therefore not causing any trouble, she felt that just having the information on how to defeat her on hand for later would be for the best."

IF sighed. "I think it would've been better to get rid of Yandere anyway, reservations be damned, but… whatever." Adopting a serious look… "What's done is done. So, how does the technique work?"

Histoire also gained a serious look. "Well, first you must bring the members of your harem together-"

"THEY'RE NOT-" Iffy started, but then, "Oh, forget it, just go on, sorry for interrupting…"

After being momentarily surprised by the katar wielder's outburst, the tome fairy continued. "…Um, yes… gather them together, and have them place themselves in a circle formation around you, IF." Histy turned to Nisa. "Nisa, as IF and the others will be preparing the technique, you must keep Yandere busy as they do so. Can you do it?"

The heroine pounded a fist on her (cough)flat(cough) chest. "Of course, Lady Histoire!"

"…Ya might wanna heal yourself first." IF pointed out like the sane woman she is. As more shouts and battle cries rang out in the background, Iffy twitched yet again. It was starting to get kind of violent.

Nisa looked down at herself. "Oh yeah. Completely forgot about that."

And cue face fault from Iffy…. SMACK.

"Angel Love!" The heroine shouted to the heavens, receiving an answer in the form of a soft blue light shining down on her (inside of which the figure of an angel could be made out; one Archangel Flonne, to be exact) which healed her injuries.

After IF recovered from her bout of disbelief, Histoire said, "Alright. Get to it, then."

"Right!" The duo of Makers shouted in unison, going off to do their tasks.

A moment afterward, Nep waltzed over to chat with Histy yet again. "Sooo… how long did it take ya to remember that Deus Ex Machina buttpull thingy?"

"Oh, um…" A little surprised/confused by the goddess' question, the fairy thought for a moment. "I believe it took approximately 3 periods of 2-3 minutes each." …So 6-9 minutes?

Neptune stared at her Oracle. "…Really stretchin' your gag there, Histy…"

Histoire blushed. "Go back to work, Neptune."

-XO[]/\-

Back at the fight-

"**DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!**"

…Back at the fight, Yandere's anger (and apparently her coherent-ness) was rapidly worsening as it dragged out. Literally the only reasons this (five on one) fight is still going on are that the spirit can regenerate its host's wounds, and that her opponents are refraining from using lethal force due to not wanting to harm said host. Much, anyway. Unsurprisingly, this only served to really, really annoy our arc baddie. Though, as her opponents began to show signs of fatigue, some gleefulness could be heard in her insane shouting. It was only a matter of time before she'd win, number advantage her foes had over her or no…

Of course, Nisa and IF intended to throw a monkey wrench into that 'bide time' plan.

As the enraged villain quickly and haphazardly blasted out balls of dark energy pretty much everywhere to try to keep some of the heat of her five opponents off, most of them defending themselves from the blasts (though Gear and Compa would take the occasionally potshot with their gunblade and syringe), a loud shout came from above the battlefield.

"JUSTICE KNIFE!"

"**GRAAAGH! WHAT NOW?!**" And Yandere looked up to find a rain of knives flying down at her, courtesy of Nisa, who inexplicably had a giant prinny floating behind her. Yandere stopped her wild assault to dodge the knives, moving backwards as they came down.

And while poor, naïve Yandere is completely oblivious to it, I'm sure you all know what comes next, yes? Wait for it…!

"GOOOO!" Came one last shout from Gamindustri's flat-chested enforcer of justice as she up and chucked the inexplicable giant prinny at the evil spirit like it was a javelin. But of course…

BOOOO OOOO OOOOM!

…We all know it's actually a tactical nuke. And one that kicked up quite a bit of smoke at that, creating a momentary barrier and distraction.

And with that done, Nisa landed as IF ran up to make the big announcement that would end this ridiculousness. "Guys, I need you all to come over here! We found a way to win this thing, and I need your help to do it!"

Sound off!

Red! "Got it, Iffy!"

Gear! "Right!"

Lyrica! "O-Ok!"

Compa! "B-Be right there!"

Vert! "As you wish, Iffy."

…Yeah, the author probably could've covered all that by just saying 'they gave her various forms of affirmative,' but this way feels more dramatic, no?

So Iffy's harem made their way to their lead. Meanwhile, Nisa stood her ground, readying herself for one more bout with Yandere. And just to be safe… "Fallen Angel Love!" And with that the heroine was enveloped in another light, this one red and from the ground, with the image of a fallen angel (Hi, Flonne!) visible within. And this time, rather than being healed, she was instead filled with power as her stats were given a boost.

"**STOP INTERFERING! STOP BEING A PEST! STOP… STOP **_**EXISTING!**_" came a mighty shout as the smoke began clearing, followed by a burst of energy and several black lightning bolts that finished the dispersion, heralding Yandere gathering power.

…Hm, yeah, I think she really _is_ far more amusing when pissed, don't you?

-XO[]/\-

Right about then, with the group still trying to break the barrier…

"HYAH!" Blanc used Hammer Swing! It's not very effective… "Grrr…" She raised her hammer again, and brought it down once more- "OOF!"

Blanc used Hammer Swing! The attack missed!

…And Blanc fell face-first into the dirt. "What the hell?!" Bringing her angry gaze upward, she witnessed something both interesting and surprising. Something that the others saw as well.

"It's… shrinking?" Falcom asked confusedly in the form of a 'that's what she said' double entendre. You pervs.

And right the adventuress was! The barrier was indeed starting to become smaller! However, as this seems to be tied with Yandere gathering up power, it's probably not a good thing…

Noire looked upon the situation within the dome of darkness, seeing the malevolent spirit's aura growing and flaring wildly as it went down in size. "That thing seems to be transferring its energy output from the shield to itself…"

"Like taking cookies from one jar an' puttin' 'em in another?" Nep asked.

Noire sweatdropped a little. "Yeah, I guess… not the most fearsome comparison ever, though."

"Well then…" the now-standing Blanc muttered as she readied her hammer once more. "Let's try this AGAAAAAAIN!" And with a look that promised murder, Lowee's goddess brought down the hammer one more time…

Blanc used Hammer Swing!

CRACK!

It's super effective!

…Well, more or less, anyway; while the attack did create a crack in the barrier, it was only a small one. Still better than before, when everything was about as ineffectual as a fish flopping about on land, though.

"Awrights! Go Blanc!" Nep shouted enthusiastically at having finally made progress. "C'mon guys, let's rock this barrier like a hurricane!"

And so the assault began anew. Time is running out for the arc villain; what shall she do?

-XO[]/\-

"Okay Histoire, explain the technique quickly! I get the feeling we don't have much time!" Iffy shouted to the fairy as she saw that Yandere was up to something. Her not-harem was already in the circle formation around her. Or at least the closest you could get to a circle with five people.

Histy nodded. "Yes, of course. You must simply recite a spell; its incantation goes as thus: Keitaro Tenchi Touma Shirou Negi Saito Ranma Tsukune Rin Rito Hayate."

Iffy paused for a moment. Some giggling could be heard from her harem, Red in particular. Then, in complete monotone, and with her eye twitching (she really should see a doctor – or Compa, I guess – about that), "…I have a distinct desire to both facepalm and kill something right now."

"There's more, actually; Caelus thought of some extra words to incant to boost the power of the technique under certain conditions. And considering the current conditions…" Histy hummed for a moment. "I believe the words that can be used to amplify the spell's power in this situation are: Iono Sora."

Iffy sighed. The giggling got louder. Red's especially. "And now those two distinct desires have doubled. Does anyone know where that author avatar's corpse is? It would make the perfect thing to vent my frustration on…"

"IF, please!" Histoire urged the Guild member to get back on topic.

"Alright, alright…"

Now, back with Nisa, and about at the same time…

"HAAAAH!" Nisa charged at Yandere, beam sword raised to strike. However, as she slashed, a large hand grabbed her sword and halted the blade. A hand made of a dark aura.

"Huh?!"

"**Heh. HAHAHAHAHA!**" Yandere smirked. Using the energy she'd transferred from her barrier, the spirit had given herself a power boost; she opted to form her aura into a humanoid shape with that boost. The humanoid shape in question looked a lot like a stringy-haired ghost girl of some kind, with long, tentacle-ish 'hair,' glowing red eyes, and unnaturally long arms, the left of which was holding Nisa's sword, and the right raised in preparation to punch.

…It looked kinda like Ansem's Heartless' Guardian, in a way. (cough)ripoff(cough)

SMACK! While the attack undoubtedly hurt quite a bit, Nisa's stat boost prevented it from doing too much damage, and caused the attack to just send her backwards a few feet, her boots leaving trails in the ground, rather than flying through the air.

"Looks like this villain has assumed her ultimate form. I'll have to be careful." Nisa said to herself.

"**DIE! PERISH! YOUR BLOOD AND THE OTHERS' SHALL BE USED AS CONFETTI WHEN I ABSORB THAT WOMAN'S SOUL! SHE WILL BE MY ETERNAL SOULMATE JUST LIKE SO MANY OTHERS BEFORE HER!**"

…I miss CFW Judge… seriously, talk about a match made in development hell.

Nisa put her sword away and once more charged at the fiend, whose aura guardian…thing lashed out with its right hand. Nisa leapt over it, and then twisted out of the way, causing the left hand to just miss her as it went by. Landing, she quickly dashed up to Yandere and delivered a barrage of punches to her gut, ending with a particularly mighty one.

Powpowpowpow SMACK went the sound effects as Yandere was pushed back but mostly unfazed. Nisa all but leaped forward to continue her assault, but the spirit threw up a barrier that the heroine wound up bouncing backward off of. She hit the ground once before righting herself just in time to dodge an energy blast before running up again, with the aura guardian getting ready to intercept her.

And meanwhile, back with Iffy and co…

"Alright guys, let's hurry and do this!" Iffy shouted to her not-harem.

"RIGHT!" they shouted in unison. For 5pb and Compa, imagine some stuttering at the beginning of their exclamation.

…Hmmm, this seems like it'd be a great place to have some heroic or inspiring music track start playing… got any in mind?

Anyway, with that the group began chanting the facepalm-worthy incantation. Try not to snicker or roll your eyes too much or whatever. "Keitaro Tenchi Touma…"

Some power could be felt building up. Nisa ducked under a hand clap from the aura guardian thang before continuing forward; Yandere leapt back, however.

"Shirou Negi Saito…"

A bright white light began to form around the group. In Nisa and Yandere's battle, the two had gotten into a punch war (well, I believe the technical term is 'Pummel War,' but I digress), Nisa's stat boost allowing her to hold her own against the aura guardian thingy, albeit barely.

"Ranma Tsukune Rin…"

FLASH! A white magic circle appeared underneath Iffy and her not-haremettes and from it sprung forth a pillar of light. Nisa dodged out of the way of several energy blasts.

"Rito Hayate!"

And with another FLASH an orb of intense positive energy formed in Iffy's hands. Seeing this, Yandere growled. She'd been hoping to get the annoying flat chick out of the way and then quickly deal with the rest before her now-weakened-due-to-power-transfer barrier was broken by the outside interlopers or the ones trapped with her could do anything (_especially_ what they were trying to do now), but now that she was running out of time both in and out of her dome of darkness, she really needed to hurry…

CRACK! And the crack(s) in the barrier got quite a bit more widespread as the outside heroes continued pounding away at it. Yep, she needed to hurry.

So, on that note, when Nisa charged at her this time, Yandere, instead of meeting the heroine, dodged to the side and fired off some energy blasts to attempt to interrupt whatever her target and those wretched whores were doing.

"Oh no you don't, fiend!" Nisa quickly reversed direction, dashed into the line of fire, and slashed apart some of Yandere's blasts with her sword; any she missed with her blade impacted her instead. She took them with naught but a few grunts.

Yandere tsked. And then, bringing her aura guardian's hands together…"**RAAAGH!**" The evil spirit unleashed a mighty beam of dark energy at Nisa.

"Damn!" Nisa shouted, quickly crossing her arms in front of herself to block, sword still in hand, and digging her feet in the ground as best she could to brace herself.

And then the dark beam came slamming into her with a deafening roar.

BOOOOM! "Guh!" Nisa grunted, being pushed back several feet before stopping and holding her ground, the beam constantly putting out a veritable truckload of agonizing pressure on her crossed arms. "Everyone, hurry! I won't be able to hold this for long!"

"Crap! C'mon, guys, let's finish this!" Shouted Iffy to her compatriots. And so they finished their chanting.

"Iono…!"

The ball of white energy in the harem lead's hands greatly increased in size. Nisa started losing some ground; to make things worse, the heroine could feel her stat boost beginning to wear off….

"_SORA!_"

And the positive energy ball in IF's hands once more jumped in size. Caelus' special anti-Yandere The Fearsome technique… was now ready to be fired.

"Nisa! Move!" Iffy shouted.

"Right!" And with that Nisa leapt out of the way of Yandere's beam of darkness, and it continued on its crash course.

"Now, guys!" And with a mighty 'HAAAAH!' that would make a shonen hero proud, Iffy and her harem brought their hands forward and launched a massive beam of light, which met Yandere's beam with a loud BOOOOOM.

And now, I _would_ describe the beam struggle… but it could hardly be called that. Iffy and co's light beam dwarfed Yandere's dark beam, being at least twice its size. The spirit's beam held for but a second or two, before our heroines' beam overpowered it and went screaming toward the evil spirit.

"**NO!**" Yandere panicked seeing the beam of light heading for her, and got ready to jump out of the way…

CRASH! And with that noise signaling that the barrier had been broken and a flash of light indicating an HDD activation, a shout of "HYAAAAH!" was heard.

And then, before she even knew what was happening, Yandere was grabbed from behind and held in a vice-like grip by…

"Hold still, you." None other than a smirking Purple Heart! "And smile for the camera!"

Though she struggled to escape from the goddess' grip, Yandere The Fearsome was ultimately helpless as she watched her doom come tearing towards her.

…Or was she?

"**DON'T INTERFERE!**" The spirit screamed in terror and anger as she enveloped herself in black lightning, electrocuting the CPU attached to her in a last-ditch attempt to get away from her impending death. Unfortunately for our villain, Purple Heart merely grunted and endured it. LIKE A BOSS.

She even taunted the spirit. Also LIKE A BOSS. "I guess you can consider yourself rejected, Yandere."

Her panic reaching its peak, Yandere shouted "**NO! **_**NO! **_**I CAN'T TAKE REJECTION WELL! NOOOOOO!**"

And with that almost pitiable (and rather narmy, really) declaration, Yandere The Fearsome, possessor of Linda and villain of this arc, was enveloped in the intense whiteness of Iffy and her harem's beam of positive energy along with Purple Heart.

BOOOOOOM!

"**AAAAAAAGH!**" The spirit screamed, her essence being forcibly torn out of her host and disintegrated as the beam of light roared past; in addition, little balls of light could be seen exiting Yandere's body (if you could really call it that) as she was torn apart, no doubt the souls of her past victims, finally allowed to enter the afterlife. As the final vestiges of her soul were wrung out of Underling and destroyed, they formed into the vague shape of a screaming girl, the villain's screams intensifying to ear-shattering levels as her end neared.

"_**AAAAAAA AAAAAA AAAAA AAAAAGH!**_"

And with that one, final, agonized scream, Yandere The Fearsome was no more, disintegrated by the positive energies – by the love and friendship (stop snickering) – of IF, Compa, Red, 5pb, Vert, and Nepgear.

And then, as the beam attack ended, there was one last flash of light…

-XO[]/\-

…What, we're not gonna end it there as an excuse to have an epilogue chapter for this arc? Eh. Sure, fine, whatever… anyway…

…A few moments later…

As the light cleared, it could be seen that the barrier of darkness had dissipated like its creator. Lady Purple Heart was now holding an unconscious (but otherwise fine) Underling. Seeing their victory, the course of action to take was natural, really.

And so the Neptunia crew let out a jubilant cheer. Well, okay, not the more reserved ones, I guess. They just smiled and/or lightly clapped or something like that.

After the celebration was out of the way, Purple Heart (unharmed by the beam) laid Underling down on the ground before deactivating HDD. Vert and Gear soon followed her in doing so. The spectators ran over (well, some walked) to see if the combatants were alright. Chika gave Vert a big hug. Uni, Ram, and Rom talked with Gear. Cave checked on Lyrica. And so on and so on.

And after that was done, there came the matter of what to do with Underling.

"…So, like, should we just leave her here, or what?" Nep asked.

"We probably could. I doubt it'd really be a problem." IF said.

"I must object to that, Miss IF!" Nisa chimed in. "Though she is often at odds with us, the justice burning in my heart will not allow me to just leave Underling here, especially as she was an unwitting victim of that Yandere The Fearsome thing!"

IF sighed. "Alright. What do you guys think?" She asked to the crowd. The reaction was mixed, but ultimately it was decided that sure, let's take her along.

"Fine. Nisa, you carry her then."

"Righto, IF!" And she lifted the ASIC grunt up on her back, holding her by her legs.

With that taken care of, the gang began leaving the stadium.

"…You should probably have this place demolished, Histoire." Kei mentioned to her fellow Oracle.

"Do not worry; I will." Histy smiled in response.

"Man, wasn't I all coolios and stuff with my one-liners and junk back there, Noirey?" Nep asked the tsundere.

"It wasn't too bad," She answered, blushing, "B-But I totally could've done better!" Nep just giggled at the response.

And with Nisa, the unconscious Underling mumbled something in her sleep and rubbed her head into the back of the heroine's neck unknowingly. Apparently she was pretty comfy on her back. Nisa couldn't help but turn a little red at the action.

And the casual chats and stuff continued as they all left for elsewhere…

-XO[]/\-

…Still goin', are we? Meh, sure. A little while later….

Following the defeat of Yandere The Fearsome, what was left of the day in Planeptune was pretty quiet.

"Iffy, would you like to play a game with me?"

Well, mostly.

"Iffy, let's sing a duet!"

'Mostly' meaning everywhere but IF's house (and anywhere Nep is, because, well, it's Nep).

"IF, um, would you like to go on a walk with me?"

This was primarily due to her harem…

"Iffy, try my new dish!"

Who, by sheer contrived, trolleriffic coincidence, all wanted to do something with Iffy for the remainder of this day. Celebration for their victory, I guess.

"Iffy, wanna have a steamy event scene with me?"

Thankfully, it should be fairly easy to tell who said what. But, just in case, the order was Vert, 5, Gear, Compa, and Red.

And as for Iffy?

"You guys…"

The Guild member sighed. It was, however, a sigh laced with hints of affection, compounded by the smile she gave to her not-harem afterward.

Her friends were pretty much completely nuts, there was really no doubting that. They could be annoying, trying, and frankly downright facepalm-inducing at times. However, in spite of all that…

IF knew that she wouldn't have it any other way.

-XO[]/\-

…What, it's _still_ not over? But that was the perfect place to end it, what the hell!? Great, first Arc Fatigue, and now Ending Fatigue? God, this author, I _swear_… well, for those coming in and reading this later on, be thankful that you at least didn't have to suffer through the Arc Fatigue part. I mean, it took, what, five, maybe six or even seven – hell, probably _more_ – months to complete an arc that in-universe lasted for all of a few hours? God damn, it's worse than freaking _Namek,_ patron saint of 'ARE WE FRIGGIN' THERE YET?!'!

BUT… I digress. We now fast-forward some hours later….

A now-awake Underling was stumbling around the futuristic streets of Planeptune, wondering why the hell she felt so awkward. Seriously, it was as if she'd been doing something romanticky or something. She was also wondering why the hell her head hurt so much. Seriously, it was as if she'd been in a fight or something. Not to mention her… erm, _behind_ stung. Seriously, it was like… _brrr_. And why the crap was there a gap in her memory?! The last thing she remembered was hiding in that creepy-ass room with the rat, and then bam, now! Waking up in a goddess' Basilicom of all places… seriously, _what the hell happened_?!

…You tired of all the seriously's yet? Seriously.

…Well, at least they didn't beat her up while she was there and let her go without any hassle. The ASIC grunt supposed she should probably be grateful for that.

'…_Ain't gonna stop me from doin' my thing, though._' She thought with a smirk.

She also wondered why they never bothered telling her what exactly happened. After waking up, they pretty much just checked to see if she was fine, and then escorted her out. When she asked, they just said she was better off not knowing.

'…_Well, maybe I am, I guess… Still wanna know, though…_'

"Yo, chump." Came the voice of a certain someone.

Linda turned to her partner in crime, who was standing at the entrance of an alley. She scowled a bit, though she wasn't particularly annoyed or angry; it was mostly just habit. This time, anyway. "Whaddya want, rat?"

"You okay?" Pirachu asked very bluntly.

Linda had to admit she was vaguely surprised at her companion being concerned. Not that she would show it. It would probably wear off soon anyway, roughly around the time he threw out an insult. "Yeah, fine I guess. Feelin' a little loopy, though. You know what happened after I blacked out or whatever? I don't remember shit, and the broads didn't tell me anything."

"Wow. You really are getting old, chump." Theeere's the insult. Surprise ended. Underling just ignored it for now, though; she was feeling too messed-up to really care. "But whatever. I actually ran away after it happened."

"So ya don't know anythin'?"

"Not exactly, chump. After I bailed, I went back into the stadium to see what was goin' on. Morbid curiosity an' all, I guess, chump. I stayed really far away of course, but I saw what went down. Mostly." He went back? I guess he just hid himself somewhere in one of the stadium's rows of seats… or maybe there was a mouse hole in the stadium wall somewhere. Or something. How the hell did I not know he was there? Stealthy, sneaky bastard… curse your small size!

"Okay, great. Spill." Linda tapped her foot on the ground impatiently.

"Well, to sum it up, chump… you were actually something like a credible threat for once," said Pirachu.

"R…really?" A wide-eyed Underling asked, surprised at the info, happy at the info, and annoyed at her mousey partner for the insult in said info all at once.

"You were possessed, sure, but yeah. Basically, chump," Pirachu confirmed.

"Huh… Well then," Underling actually smiled a bit, "I might feel like crap right now, but screw it. If I put up a good fight against those broads, even if I was possessed or whatever, I'd say today was a good day."

"I guess so, chump." A nod.

"Anyway, c'mon, go into more detail, rat. What happened, huh?" Linda inquired, beginning to walk off, her partner in crime joining her.

"Well, chump…"

And so the duo waltzed off into the convenient sunset, conversing about the events of the day….

-XO[]/\-

Level 9 end – World 1 Boss Fight, Cleared!

-XO[]/\-

**Nepedia Entries: Yandere The Fearsome**

_Hello everyone! It's Histoire here! (^ v ^) For those who did not read the first iteration of them in the Christmas special fic 'Heartmas Rush,' these Nepedia entries, narrated by me, will provide info on aspects, citizens, and monsters of Gamindustri. (^ v ^)_

_This entry is about the main villain of the Iffy's Harem (oh my, that's rather funny to say (^llll^) ) arc, Yandere The Fearsome._

_A being that existed since long before Caelus' stint as a CPU, back when the competition between nations was far more… violent, Yandere was once an ordinary human girl of the yandere character archetype, involved in a typical harem comedy situation. She was, however, not suited for a role in a comedy, to say the least. I already went over her backstory in the previous chapter, so I suppose I do not really need to reiterate it, __**but**__, I will mention that the book of dark magic she obtained her powers from is of… questionable origin. As the reorganization of the information within my pages is still pending, I unfortunately do not remember the exact details. ( ^ ^;) However, that said, I do at least remember that the book in question was merely a cheap knock-off of some other, far more powerful tome of dark magics, specifically… no, I am sorry, but I do not think I can reveal that; I may be wrong, anyway…. Knock-off or no, though, I wonder how she came upon it in the first place…. ( * - * )_

_Regardless… I suspect it may have corrupted her somehow. Do not take that as fact, however; it is merely my own speculation._

_Well… I do not believe I have much else to say here. ( ^ ^;) I am happy that Yandere's victims can now rest in peace, though. Also, as it was something of a throwaway detail, I feel I should repeat that Ghost-type **monsters** and actual **ghosts** are two different things. Ghost-type monsters are completely normal living creatures despite their appearances (it is thought that they look like that as a sort of adaptation for survival; even just looking like spirits is enough to unnerve some people and potential predators and ward them off), whereas ghosts and spirits are, well... actually undead._

_In any case, if I find that there is anything else to be said on the subject of Yandere The Fearsome at a later time, I will be sure to tell you all. (^ v ^)_

-XO[]/\-

AN: Whew, this arc's finally over. Yayzors.

Yeeeah… like I said, Yandere is kind of the HDA equivalent of Raditz. Honestly, my main intention with her was to have her be a symbolic/thematic villain, and I really didn't do much planning on her besides that. If y'all paid attention, y'might have noticed that the main theme of this arc was the importance of friendly, amiable competition, shown with how the contestants were friendly with each other throughout the arc and through the various events being based around casual (well, more or less) games (Mario Kart, Mario Party, and Mario Strikers). As I mentioned previously, the yandere archetype was rather convenient to use as an antagonist here, and the reason for that is that it is quite simply the antithesis to friendly competition. Murdering your opponents isn't very nice, after all. XD

Yandere was probably also to some degree a way for me to test how well I can write fight scenes; that said, I might've been just a _tad_ too ambitious about it, considering how many things were going on in that battle. XD However, if I managed to write out that clusterf-ck of a fight halfway decently, I s'pose it bodes well for future fights. ^ ^ I mean, if _that_ convoluted melee was anything resembling good, then I guess I don't have to worry about smaller fights (like, say, 1 on 1) much. XD

And yes, the chant for that Deus Ex Machina slash Asspull spell thing was just a long string of names of harem leads. Dohohoho. And, while I'm pretty sure most of them are fairly easily identified, I think I'll go ahead and talk about the last two names for a moment; for you see, those last two names, the ones Histy specified were for use under certain conditions… they're _yuri_ harem leads. Iono is the yuri harem lead in _Iono-sama Fanatics_, and Sora is the yuri harem lead in _Shitsurakuen_. :)

And, fun fact… the size of Iono's (yuri) harem? It's over _1000_ strong, believe it or not (though, for obvious reasons, all but a few aren't exactly focused on). Which pretty much makes her, a woman, the biggest (and most successful) womanizer in all of fiction. How's that for emasculation, eh? XD

Anyways, next time we shall be returning to episodic stuff for a while. See ya then, doods!


End file.
